


Spells Out Trouble

by Mila Dans (dans262_327_2378chase)



Series: Spells Out Trouble [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Hates Witches, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean is a puppy dog, F/M, Hurt Dean Winchester, Love, Love Potion/Spell, Protective Dean Winchester, Spells & Enchantments, Supernatural Elements, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dans262_327_2378chase/pseuds/Mila%20Dans
Summary: You have been with the Winchesters for several years now going through all the literal trials and tribulations with them. What happens when Dean gets hit by a love spell and becomes head-over-heels for you? Will your pushed down emotions finally rise or will you get in over your head? Find out what happens when your best friend’s hard exterior becomes mush whenever you end up in his eyeline.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & You, Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/You
Series: Spells Out Trouble [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025800
Comments: 11
Kudos: 50





	1. I Wanna Know What Love Is

“Y/N!”

You could hear your name being called as you adjusted your position on the bed. “Five more minutes,” you mumbled out as you buried your face even deeper in the pillows.

“Y/N, wake up!” Dean said, agitated. He was still mad that you won the coin toss for the bed. Thanks to you, he got a restless night on a two-seated couch. But as of right now, you were way too tired to care.

Sam was in the bathroom getting ready first like always. Spending so many years with the boys, you learned each other’s habits, quirks, and how long they needed to get ready in the morning. Sam took the longest for some reason and after him was you, who only took maybe eight minutes to get fully dressed which always seemed to impress the brothers. Dean was after you, taking only about five minutes to get ready for the day which seemed accurate based on his minimal appearance.

“We got to go,” Sam said from behind the door.

“You hear that? We’re gonna leave without you.” Dean said as you could imagine the smug smile on his face.

“You wouldn’t,” you replied as Dean’s taunting caused you to wake up. You, Dean, and Sam were set to go to the coroner’s today and as good a day as any to see a dead body, you were especially excited because this hunt involved a witch. And you hate witches. You have a past and a very bad one at that. The boys know your strong feelings when it comes to the bottom dwelling hags. This remark on Dean’s part as to threaten to leave without you was just enough to make you sit up from your comfy position in bed and prepare to start your day. “I’m up.”

“Finally,” Dean said, throwing your weapons bag with full force right at your chest. It hurt but of course he did it on purpose. Dean always liked to pick on you, even more so whenever you were just waking up and you had your defenses down.

“Ow,” you said, glaring at Dean with only a sly smirk from him in return.

Sam exited the bathroom as he finished buttoning up his white dress shirt. “All yours,” he said to you. You nodded and rolled out of bed pushing off the sack of weaponry from you. You grabbed your FBI getup and headed to the bathroom where you got cleaned up and dressed.

You could hear the boys from behind the closed door talking about the latest victim, John Chase. You listen all while thinking about the case. So far, six men have been found dead with their insides turned to goo. You all had been at this for days and have yet to catch a break. Hopefully the new body would lead to something. Anything.

You finished getting dressed and like clockwork, just as you opened the door to let Dean have a turn getting dressed, he stood in the doorway just about to knock. His hand, merely inches away from your face, you gulped as you realized how close you were to receiving a hit to the face, courtesy of Dean Winchester. “That was close,” he said smiling.

“Yeah, close enough. Watch it next time, Winchester.” You shoved him as you walked out and towards your bed.

“Y/N,” Sam called out as you turned your attention towards him, “Which one?” He had held up two different ties in his hands, weighing them up and down as to signal to you which one was better. “Pick one. Blue or red?”

“Hmm… blue brings out your eyes but red makes you look sexy!” You said with clear sarcasm making Sam smile.

“Really? Cause I would’ve thought it’d be the opposite. But what do I know? You’re the sexy one,” Sam retorts, raising his eyebrows.

“True, but you do come in at a close second.”

“Wow, and here I thought Dean would’ve been second.”

“Oh no. You know you are my favorite Winchester.” You say puckering your lips, blowing him a kiss.

Yours and Sam’s relationship was very different when compared to yours and Dean’s. Both of them were your best friends but Sam was able to let his guard down with you. You always had admired his sass whether it was directed towards you or not. It was fun to play and joke with him. When it was just him and Dean, he often had to be what would be called the “mature one.” Dean on the other hand liked to mess with you too but he never let his guard down like Sam does. Sam was still the only person who saw the full version of Dean. You wished Dean would let you in but you were just happy that you got Sam to. Besides, he was way easier to talk to when it came to deep stuff. You’d always go straight to Sam without giving it a second thought if you ever needed to talk and he often did the same to you.

—————————-

You sorted through your bag as you placed all the weapons on your person that you deemed necessary for a trip to the coroner’s office. The boys always thought you had an overabundance of weapons even when attending the simplest of places. You however thought it was better to be prepared and when riding with the Winchesters, it’s best to be ready for anything. You rummaged through your bag even deeper. “Where’s the demon blade?” You asked, still continuing your search.

“It’s in my bag,” Dean said as he loaded his gun with your favorite type of bullets.

“Can I have it?” You asked him as he stuck your hand out waiting to put it in the back of your belt.

Dean tucked his gun in the back of his pants and looked at your eagerness to have the blade. “Um, no.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean no, sweetheart. You already have a whole armory on you. You don’t need the knife too.” Even though you knew Dean was probably right, you couldn’t help but want it even more now that he had felt so inclined to call you “sweetheart” which he knew bugged you. The truth of the matter is, you didn’t mind him calling you it so much as you minded him calling every other woman sweetheart too. You hated thinking that he had grouped you with every other one night stand or valentine adventure.

“Give it to me,” you said, holding your hand out even further only to have him push it away.

“No.”

“Yes,” you demand.

“Dean, let her have the knife,” Sam said with his “It’s too early for this” tone.

“Fine,” Dean said, taking it out of his bag and holding the edge about to place it in your hand.

“Really?” You said surprised he had given up so easily.

“No,” he said as he showed you that smug grin of his. He took the knife away and walked over to the edge of your bed, about to place it in his weapons bag once again.

“Give it,” you order as you hop on the bed trying to grab it out of his hands.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, sweetheart,” he said with his once again taunting tone. You only tried harder to grab it as his arms went all around you causing you to get closer and closer to the edge of the bed. You reached over the edge as he dangled the blade in front of you. You almost had gotten it but instead lost your balance.

_Thump_.

“Told you, sweetheart.” And with that remark, Dean had left the building with the blade placed in his bag.

While on the floor, you try to convince yourself that he is useful and it would be best to not kill him yet but you believe the topic to be debatable.

Sam came over to help you off the floor. “Your brother is being a jerk again,” you said while brushing yourself off.

“Yeah, well, what else is new?” Sam holds out your bag.

You snatch the bag from his hand, “You are enjoying this because you think it’s better for him to pick on me instead of you.”

“What?” Sam said sarcastically. “That is so not true. I never find enjoyment when I let my pain in the ass older brother bully you just so he wouldn’t bully me,” he replies with a big grin on his face.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be so sure,” you glare at him.

You both grabbed your coats and shut the door behind you.

————————

You three had just come back from the coroner’s and discovered, thanks to some hex bags found in the victim’s pockets, that your witch was very old and very powerful. You also found that she continued her hot streak of leaving attractive, middle-aged men’s innards boiled.

“Great,” Dean said as he shut Baby’s door. “What is it? Five dead now?”

Sam got in beside him, “Seven, actually.”

“Make that eight,” you said as you tossed your phone on the seat in front of you.

“What is this?” Sam asked, picking it up, examining the news story.

“It’s yet another kill where some attractive guy has his insides deep fried.”

“Great, again,” Dean said, starting the car. “Where was it at this time?”

“North Crow street,” Sam replied.

“That’s only what? Two miles from the last victim?”

“I’m pretty sure,” you said, thinking about the pattern of the attacks.

“We go back to the room, map out the attacks, get our gear, and we kill this son of a bitch.” You nodded.

“Agreed.”

———————–

“Okay,” Sam said as he marked the final spots on the map, “We have North Crow street on here twice. Then there’s this neighborhood right here where three of the victims were and over here is Goodman park where the remainder of the victims were killed at.” The map was spread out on a section of the wall above the sofa with a whole lot of red thread and pushpins covering whatever blank space remained.

“So that’s a two mile radius around,” Dean gets up taking the marker from Sam, “This street. Mary’s Ave.”

“Great, now that we’ve narrowed it down, to what? One-Hundred houses? What’s our next step?” You asked as you felt the weight of the deaths on your shoulders and it became even worse as you knew you weren’t the only one.

“I’ve got no freaking clue.” Dean let out a huff as he ran his hands through his hair in aggravation. Dean was getting more angry by the second and it didn’t help that he had been cooped up in a room with you and Sam. Sure, it was fun to mess with him but it tends to get old real quick. Dean threw up his hands, “It’s not like we can just hit all the houses on the block knocking on the door and asking, ‘Hey, are you a witch? Cause if you are, we need to kill you.’”

Sam gives off a tired laugh. “We’ve been at this for a week and we have got nothing except a pile of bodies.”

You take in the sight of the tired brothers and know that it’d be best if you didn’t push them over the edge. “Hey,” you said with a calm voice, trying to get them to ease up, “We will find her and kill her. Okay?”

“How Y/N?!” Dean yells looking at you as if you were crazy to somehow have any sort of hope.

You sit down trying to make up any connection or pattern you can. You see the boys and their exhaustion and anger radiating off of them. You push yourself even harder to find something, anything. You think to yourself about all the information you have: A trail of good looking dead guys, a witch, messed up insides, and a hex bag. A hex bag which you have found nothing in the lore about. You have yet to figure out how this hex bag kills or much less hurts someone. What kind of hex bag doesn’t kill you but still leaves you dead. It leaves you dead… Leaves you dead… “Leaves you dead!” You mutter under your breath.

“What?” Asks Sam as he sees you jolt up grabbing the hex bag and his laptop, clicking away on the keyboard.

“Y/N, what are you doing with the hex bag?” Dean asks.

“Shush,” you demanded as you continued your search online.

“Don’t ‘shush’ me,” Dean replied silently.

You ignore the duo as you search deeper in the online lore. You search every ingredient in the hex bag. Instead of lethal hex bags, you search for non-lethal ones that use the same ingredients. “Okay, hear me out: What if the witch wasn’t trying to kill guys?”

“Sure, she accidentally melted the victim’s insides,” Dean says as he rolls his eyes.

“Shush!” You again told Dean trying to explain your train of thought. “We searched all over for a hex bag like this that kills someone, right?”

“Yeah,” Sam replies reluctantly.

“But what if the hex bag wasn’t meant to kill the men, but instead lure them to our witch.” You turn the screen around showing the list of ingredients for a spell that can lure anyone to the user. “See? This spell and the hex bags use the exact same ingredients.”

“I guess that’s useful information if we wanna make hex bags but how does this help us try to find the witch?” Dean again says with his annoying sarcasm.

You turn the computer around again and start typing away once more. “Well, sweetheart,” you look at Dean and show a sarcastic smile, “These ingredients are extremely rare and even more expensive.” Dean looks at you mad and you smile even bigger assuming that he doesn’t like being called “sweetheart” either. “Since the ingredients are so rare, when you search where they are found, you discover they are only found in a very small part of Ireland.”

“Okay,” Sam says, trying to follow.

“Now, since the items are expensive, the witch must be rich. And when I search the most expensive houses on Mary’s Ave, I come up with fifteen different ones which all belong to an array of people.”

“Yeah,” Sam nods in agreement, still unsure of your thought process.

“The Fifteen names of the owners are: Smith, Jackson, Thompson, Brock, Jones, Marshall, James, Evans, other Smith, Parker, MacAulay, Watts, Cooper, Jefferson, and Holiday. Tell me, which one of those names sounds Irish to you?”

“MacAulay,” Dean says as the wheels in his head visibly turn.

“Right, and when I pull up the records for the house, you will find that one Alannah MacAulay lives in that house alone. And it just so happens that she paid upfront with cash.” You look at Sam and Dean and notice their shocked expressions. “That name is indeed Irish and is one of the founding families that basically built the town that grows these ingredients. Guys, I’d say this is our witch.”

“How in the world did you get all that from a hex bag?” Sam asks with an amazed look in his eyes. You shrug your shoulders trying to hold back a smile of accomplishment. “Good job, Y/N,” Sam says, giving you a pat on the back.

“Thanks.” You look again at Dean knowing that a compliment from him was as rare as a unicorn sighting, but in this job the latter would be more likely to happen.

Dean stands up and cocks his gun, “Let’s go kill a witch.”

——————-

You all had arrived at the house. You and Sam took the front door entrance as Dean went around back. Sam opened the door slowly as you went under his arm through the doorway scoping out the place. The door shut gently behind him. He signaled for you to go upstairs as he took the first floor. You nodded in agreement as you cautiously and quietly walked up the huge set of stairs that were before you.

The house was gigantic and magnificent. If you weren’t so worried about the status of your life, you might’ve actually enjoyed it a bit more. When you came to the top of the steps, you saw three doors ahead of you. Thinking it might be a while till one of the boys came upstairs to help you search, you went right ahead entering the rooms as stealthy as you could.

The first room didn’t have anything that looked witchy and the same went for the second. But just as you turned the knob on the third door, you heard a muffled sound. You pushed the door open finding a middle-aged man tied to a chair with a gag in his mouth. Only the man and a whole mess of stuff was in the room. You passed by what seemed to be a miniature cauldron filled with an assortment of goods or more accurately, bads, and soon made your way to the man. Holding your gun with such focus and intensity, you searched every square inch of the room just to make sure it was only you and him.

You went over to him, undoing the ropes and removing his gag. “Are you alright?” You asked quietly.

“I think,” he said with an uneasy tone. You signaled for him to get up and get a move on but he still remained glued to the seat.

“What are you doing?” You whispered worried that if you stayed any longer, you wouldn’t be alone.

“I can’t move!” He says with a terrified tone.

“What?” You look to see if you missed a rope.

“I can’t move!” You tried to pull him up or out of the chair but he wouldn’t budge.

Suddenly, you could feel another presence in the room. You slowly reached for your gun, switching your attention from the man to what you thought would be the witch.

You quickly aimed your gun as you turned around only to find the room as empty as you had seen before.

“Tell me, Girl” a voice echoed with a strong Irish accent, “Have you ever been in love?” You aimed your gun in every dark corner of the room trying to find a face to the voice. “Have you ever really been head-over-heels for someone?”

“Sorry, I can’t say that I have.” You continued the conversation stalling in hope of a rescue from one of the boys.

“Oh, It’s such a shame. Surely you must love someone or like someone at least?” She asks as if wanting you to understand.

“I don’t know about that but I appreciate your concern,” you laugh as this is the last conversation you’d expect to have.

The voice laughs back. “My, I can see that you do hold a torch for someone. You might try to hide it but I can see your feelings and they are strong.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, lady. But how about you come out here and maybe then we can swap crushes.”

“Oh, no. I need to finish my work,” she says matter-of-factly.

“Your work? You mean killing innocent men? I have to say, not a fan.” Your gun gets pulled out from your hands. “Dammit,” you mumble. You stay moving around the room keeping your senses on guard.

“You simple minded fool. My work is work of passion and love, not death.”

“Whatever you say, Witchy.” You try to look for another sort of weapon in the room.

“I just wanted to be loved. It’s not my fault that accidents happen.”

“Well, I just want you dead and like you said, accidents happen.” In the corner of your eye, you see a dagger and you move closer to it trying not to draw attention to yourself.

The witch finally appears out from the dark corner she was hiding in. “If you wanted that to happen, maybe you shouldn’t have come alone,” she says looking you dead in the eyes like a lion would do to its prey.

The door quickly busts open causing the witch to change her attention. You rush towards the dagger and then try to find if a hex bag is on the man.

“She didn’t come alone,” Dean stands in the door and aims his gun directly at the witch but before he can pull the trigger, she flings him past the cauldron and only feet away from you and the man. She sees you and immediately, light radiates from her palms and you prepare to be on the end of a fatal blow. But suddenly, Sam comes from the door, tackling the witch to the ground.

Dean gets up and takes notice of a huge gnash on his hand and finds his blood on the rim miniature cauldron. But before he can think anything more of it, he searches for his gun. You still try to find what holds the man in the chair taking off his shoes, jacket, anything that could have a hex bag inside. Sam gets thrown to the other side of the room and you see now that the witch looks even more pissed than she originally was. “Just let me do my work!” She screams as you too get tossed to the side, leaving a wide-open space in between her and the man. “I will do my work! I will be loved!” She screams and starts to mumble Latin causing the cauldron to rise and spark. Dean sees what she is about to do and before you or Sam have a chance to react to the ready to fire spell, Dean jumps in front of the man and the surge of energy from the cauldron fires right at Dean. “No!” The Witch screams. Sam runs to his gun and shoots her right in the head causing her to fall to the floor.

With the witch killed, you and Sam rush to Dean who is surprisingly still alive from the impact of the blow. “Hey,” you ask him, examining him, “you alright, big guy?”

He mumbles in return, “Peachy.” You help him up as Sam checks on the man who is no longer glued to the chair. Sam gives you the nod that he is alright and both you and Sam walk out, each helping a man down the stairs.

———————–

Sam starts the car back up as you leave the hospital where you dropped the man off at. “You sure you alright, Dean?” You ask leaning over the seat taking notice of his face to try and get a read on him.

“I’m great,” he replies with his ever so sly smile.

“You sure?” Sam asks.

“Yeah. I’m good to go. In fact, I say we go get some beers because we deserve it.” You and Sam look at each other quizzically both thinking of how you’ve never encountered a witch blast that came with no side effects.

“You sure you’re good?” Sam asks again with an unsure tone.

“Dude, I’m fine. I just wanna get drunk. Can you blame me?” He looks at Sam and he shakes his head while letting out a tired laugh. “Come on, let’s go have some fun!” He looks at you and hits your shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Dean, I’m exhausted and I’m surprised that you aren’t. It’s gonna be a no from me,” Sam answers.

“Y/N, what do you say? Wanna get drunk and laid?”

“Um, you sure you’re okay Dean?” You ask again.

“Guys, what the hell is with all the questions?! I’m fine. Nothing is wrong with me. Now Y/N, you wanna join or not?” Dean looks into your eyes and you look at him still concerned.

“I guess so.”

“Perfect!”

—————————

You and Dean pull up to a bar called “O’Malley’s” looking dressed to kill or in this case, dressed to get laid. You always carried a little black dress with you whenever you went on hunts just in case you needed to use it to work a more flirtatious angle. And from time to time, you did. You both walked inside keeping your distance from each other just to make sure no one would think the two of you were together. You have been to this rodeo before. Every now and again when Dean was a little too eager to get out of the bunker or some crap motel room, you and him would always wind up going to the nearest bar to find a little fun. Sam would always be researching something or sleeping. Tonight, Sam was doing the latter.

You took a seat at the bar leaving an opening on both your sides and ordered a strong drink. Dean, following behind you, had immediately found someone he liked and took a seat right beside her. You could hear their laughter and imagine what cheesy pick up lines Dean would use on her this time. Even though it seemed like you couldn’t stand him at times, he’s your best friend and you know him better than he does himself sometimes. Dean, Sam, and Cas were all that you had. It’s been like that for roughly five years. And all you could think about right now was just wanting to go home and lie in your bed. Well, thinking about that and the stupid witch. You glanced over at Dean again seeing him even closer to the girl than before. You ordered a refill and quickly gulped it down.

——————————-

The stupid Witch. You couldn’t stop thinking about her. You recall what she said, you remember all the talk about love and how she swears that you love someone too. “No way,” you say under your breath. You look over your shoulder again to view Dean and his lady for tonight. You watch them get up and leave. You laugh to yourself and feel the drink getting to you as you order what you think is your fourth. “How could I love someone?” You think.

You don’t even like anyone. I mean, you love the boys but that’s completely different. Cas, he’s like your guardian angel and Sam, come on, he is literally your brother. And Dean? Dean. Well… Dean is Dean.

You order another drink putting it down the hatch even faster than the last.

Dean is annoying. You couldn’t ever like him. He’s annoying and like totally over protective and he’s way too hot to not have an ego. He’s sexy and gorgeous and way out of your league. Sure you like him but that doesn’t mean you love him. He’s annoying and so bratty. Okay, so maybe you love him a little bit but it’s just because the witch put all these thoughts in your head. You have only been in love with him for like three years, that’s all. Not even four. You push these feelings deep down and always have, I mean, It isn’t like Dean Winchester is gonna wake up one day and be in love with you.

“Miss? Miss?!” The bartender asks you.

“What?” You snap at him.

“You’ve been talking to yourself for quite some time.” The bartender says with a polite smile.

“Nu-uh.”

“Yes, you have. I believe you’re drunk and in love with whoever this Dean is.”

“Pft, no I’m not.” You try to point at the bartender but somehow manage to fall off the stool. One of the men a few seats over helped you up and guided you outside.

You stumble down the steps of the entrance, “You don’t know what love is!” You yelled at the bar. “I wanna know what love is, and I want you to show me!” Your words slowly changed from an angry fit into lyrics from a Foreigner song. You pulled out your phone as you fell to the ground and managed to call Sam.

“Hello?” Sam said tiredly.

“Do you wanna know what love is, Sam? Cause I want you to show me!”

“Are you drunk, Y/N?”

“No!” you shouted, “I don’t like how people keep assuming things about me.”

“Y/N?” Sam said, trying to get a straight answer.

“Okay, so listen, I’m drunk and Dean took Baby to probably make a baby. So I need some assistance. Hey! I’m like one of the AARP people.” You laugh, amused by your own words.

“Where are you at?”

“I’m at a parking lot outside of uh,” you look up at the blurred sign, “Old Mufasa’s.”

“That’s not a place, Y/N.” Sam sighed.

“Well then I don’t know!”

“Your phone says you’re five minutes away. I’ll be there in five minutes. Just stay put.” Sam hung up.

You could hear that Sam was tired and angry which was not a good combo but you were just worried that the ant that you saw climbing a rock in the parking lot would get run over. You went over and tested your depth perception seeing if you could get the ant to a safe spot. As you nudged the little bugger on your finger, you trudged over to a patch of dirt on the side of the building. You let him go and smiled, “At least you love me, Ant.”

You moved back to where you and tripped causing you to face plant into the ground and drift off to sleep.

———————-

The next morning was… interesting. You had woken up to find Dean even more hungover than you, spread out on Sam’s bed and Sam on the way too small couch. All you remember from the night before was a whole lot of alcohol and Sam coming to get you, picking you up from the ground, placing you in a car, and finally onto your bed. You couldn’t rack your brain for any more information or you might end up with an aneurism. You figured that the best thing you could do for your massive headache and the boys was to go and get coffee. You left a note on the door and headed out.

———————

In the room, Sam changed his clothes out in the open not minding because it was only him and a semi-unconscious Dean. The same Dean who was spread like a starfish with blankets and sheets wrapped around him. He tried to move but was unable either from the entanglement or extra motion that made him seem even more dizzy.

“Dean, you alright?” Sam asked as he pulled on his shirt and finished getting dressed.

“Hrmp,” Dean, sort of, replied. He moved a little on the bed seeming like even a construction crew couldn’t affect his state.

“Dude, I thought Y/N was bad last night. I think It’s safe to say you take the gold.” Sam laughed and hit Dean’s feet trying to get him to move.

“What?” Dean pulled his head away from the pillow and rubbed his eyes.

“Dean, you good? I know you wanted to celebrate but I think you went a little too hard on this one.” Sam tossed a bottle of aspirin on the bed beside Dean.

“I’m–I’m uh, good?” Dean sat up slowly trying to gain some sort of balance.

“Good. Cause we have a twelve hour drive back home to the bunker and since you refuse to let me or Y/N drive–”

“Y/N?!” Dean interrupts Sam and darts up from his bed.

“What?” Sam looks at a now wide awake Dean who is staring at him right in his face.

“Y/N,” Dean says with a very excited tone, “Is she here? Where is she? She’s okay right?” He asks as his joy starts to change to worry.

Sam looks at Dean very confused but replies, “Yeah, Y/N’s out getting coffee. You okay, Dean? You don’t look so hot.”

“I don’t?” Dean asks. He looks at his appearance almost disappointed in himself. Dean is still wearing his black-tee undershirt from last night and a pair of boxers.

“Dean, you are acting like someone gave five shots of five hour energy. What’s going on?”

“I…I…I just need to see her!.” Dean paces around the room starting to panic.

“Who, Dean?” Sam goes to Dean putting his hand on his shoulder trying to get him to calm down or at least relax for a moment.

“Y/N,” Sam looks at Dean like he’s crazy, “I’ve got to see her. I just gotta.”

“Okay, how about you sit down and we figure out what is wrong with you. Alright?”

“There’s no time, Sam!” Dean yells at Sam shoving his hand away. “I’ve got to get my suit on and I need some of your cologne and uh, flowers! I need to get flowers!”

“Dean! Something is really wrong with you. You are acting crazy and I don’t understand what your new obsession is with Y/N. So please, just take a deep breath.” Sam again tries to go over to Dean getting him to calm down.

“You’re right, Sammy. I need to calm down for Y/N. I don’t want her to be frightened or–or panicked like I am.” He unconvincingly smiles at Sam but nods along with his plan.

“Good,” Sam says slowly, “Good. Now take a deep breath.” Dean takes a huge deep breath in and holds it in his puffed out cheeks. He exhales and shakes his body trying to loosen up. “Okay, Dean, what’s going on?” Sam sits on the bed with Dean who still appears to be hopped up on some kind of energy drink.

“I don’t know. I just know that everything is so clear and like this huge burden has been lifted off of me.” Dean smiles crazily at Sam.

“Okay,” Sam tries to understand why his brother is acting like an energized maniac. “When did you feel like this, ‘burden,’ was lifted?”

“It was this morning, when I woke up and you said her name.” Dean hops up and down nodding with his whole body.

“Right, uh, Y/N’s name?” Sam tries to stop Dean from moving so much by holding down his shoulders.

“It’s the most beautiful name in the world,” Dean says while he waves his arms trying to mime the whole wide world.

“Uh-uh. Listen, Dean. I’m gonna call Cas and we are gonna figure out what’s going on.” Dean nods his head and looks at his brother with a big smile, leaving Sam’s emotions a mix between scared, creeped out, and concerned.

——————-

You had just stood in line for almost an hour trying to get the coffees only to have them get your order wrong. You would’ve been more upset about it but you were just eager to get away from all the noise and bright lights that made your headache ten times worse.

You reached for your room key and inserted it into the door all while trying to balance the uneven amount of coffees. You opened the door and glanced over at the boys sitting on the edge of the bed. “Good, you guys are up.” Dean stood up so quickly that his movement caught your attention. You set the cups down on a nightstand and looked towards Sam and Dean. Sam stood up beside Dean with a worrisome look. And Dean looked at you with such glee and excitement that you turned around to see if there was someone behind you. “What’s going on?” You asked as the more you looked at them the more terrified you got.

“Um,” Sam mumbled and tried to find the words, “Dean’s uh…”

“What?” You ask as you become even more worried.

“Dean… he uh… something is wrong with him.” Sam kept looking at you and Dean. You all stand still, unmoving.

“Dean?” You ask and as you do so, Dean gulps as if you managed to take his breath away when calling his name. “Dean?” You ask again and this time, the biggest smile comes on Dean’s face like an excited puppy. “Dean, wh…what is it?”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”


	2. Take It Easy

“Dean?” You ask and as you do so, Dean gulps as if you managed to take his breath away when calling his name. “Dean?” You ask again and this time, the biggest smile comes on Dean’s face like an excited puppy. “Dean, wh…what is it?”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

You stand paralyzed, waiting for the punchline. “What?” You ask, unsure of what is happening.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you so much.” Dean’s smile became bigger while your face only became redder.

You look at Sam who was also at a loss for words and then revert your attention back to the puppy-like Dean. “I’m sorry? Um, what is that supposed to mean?” You clear your throat, trying to wrap your head around his words. Dean doesn’t respond but continues to look at you with his glowing smile. “Sam,” you look towards Sam, wide-eyed. “What is this?” Your expression is one of confusion and uncertainty which imitates the thoughts running rampant in your head.

Sam mirrors your confusion and shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t know but he’s been like this all morning.” He takes a deep breath trying to clarify, “He’s been wanting to see you all morning.”

“So, let me get this straight,” you clear your throat again, trying to gain some confidence in this uncomfortable situation, “he just woke up and is now ‘in love’ with me?” As soon as the words come out of your mouth, the memory of the night before returns. You recall your drunken confession and wonder for a moment if it has anything to do with the situation at hand.

“I um, guess so?” You and Sam look at Dean who has been completely still since his confession. He appears to be almost under hypnosis with a huge smile laced on his face. His gaze keeps on you as if his intense focus is the only thing keeping you alive. 

“Dean?” You call out nervously. 

He blinks, snapping out of his trance and responds excitedly, “Yes, my Love?” He moves a step closer to you and you move a step back.

“Are, um,” he continues to get closer to you and you continue to move further away from him, “Are you okay?” You try and smile to ease the tension but it doesn’t help now that Dean is completely locked onto you, following your every move.

“I was great this morning but now,” Dean pauses taking a sigh of relief, “now that you’re here, I’m phenomenal!” Dean says with his insane smile. Realizing how close he is to you and how crazy he looks, you search the room for an escape. You look towards Sam trying to get his attention as Dean slowly backs you up into a corner.

“Dean?” Sam steps in between you and his brother, “How about you back away from Y/N for a moment, okay?” Sam puts his hands on Dean’s shoulders keeping his brother at arms length. Dean takes his focus off of you and unto Sam. Quickly, Dean’s insane smile and love stricken appearance turns into a deadly gaze. Sam looks in Dean’s eyes and you can hear the panic in Sam’s voice. “Dean,” he lets out a very nervous laugh, “What are you doing there, bud?” Dean stares at Sam with his murderous gaze. 

Dean looks at you and then back at Sam. “What are you doing, Sammy?” Dean’s tone lowers to a grim and protective one. “Are you trying to keep Y/N away from me?!” His voice rises along with the tension in the room.

Sam pats Dean’s shoulder while trying not to tremble. “No,” Sam says unconvincingly. “No, course not. I wouldn’t do that.” Dean moves towards Sam causing him to trip while walking backwards. 

You walk slowly to the bathroom trying not to be noticed. Sam sees you and mouths out, “Go,” to you as you nod and make a run for it.

Boom

In a split second, Dean sees the interaction out of the corner of his eye and punches Sam in the face, knocking him backwards, falling to the ground. Dean stands over Sam’s unconscious body laid out on the motel floor as his eyes dart around the room, searching for you. You stand still in the bathroom as he becomes once again target locked upon you, changing his sadistic killer look into a wide-eyed one complete with a huge smile. You yelp in panic and both you and Dean run to the door. You manage to lock yourself in the bathroom before Dean has a chance to get in. 

“What the hell?!” You say to yourself as you try to process the series of events. First, Dean was hungover and unconscious, then completely alert and in love with you. Now he looks like he wants to kill you but at the same time kiss you. “None of this makes any sense,” you mumble. 

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Before you can finish processing, anything, Dean starts to bang on the door. “Dean, stop it!” You demand. He continues hammering the door with such force that you wonder if or when it will come down.

“I’m sorry, Y/N!” Dean says, pausing his hits. “I had to. He was trying to get between us!” Dean almost sounds sad and upset by his actions.

“Dean, you are crazy!” You go through the items in the bathroom trying to find something useful to the situation. “Something is really wrong with you! You knocked out your brother for crying out loud!”

“Y/N, listen, I love you so much and Sam,” Dean shifts his tone trying to justify his actions, “Sam was getting in the way of my love for you. You have to understand that I didn’t want to hurt him and I certainly would never hurt you!” 

Dean’s knocking ceases and you begin to estimate how long you think it would take for either Dean to leave or Sam to regain consciousness. “Dean?” You ask as you go over to the door, noticing the silence coming from the other side. “Dean?” You become worried that he had taken off or worse, found a way in. As you get closer to the door, you hear a faint sob.

Dean sniffles, “Yes?”

You realize that the source of the sob is coming from him. “Are you crying, Dean?” You ask, unsure of what he is doing exactly.

No answer.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” You ask trying to find some understanding to Dean’s newly found roller coaster of emotions.

“I..” Dean continues to sniffle, “I just love you so much. I didn’t want to scare you. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You become even more confused as to how so quickly his emotions changed. “It’s okay, Dean,” you reply trying to offer him some sort of comfort. Never in your life have you ever heard or seen Dean Winchester cry. Now that he is, it seems much scarier than you thought it would be. You look around the bathroom and suddenly the sight of a window sets in. “Hey, Dean?” You ask as you develop a plan of escape.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“You want to see me, right? And do what with me exactly?” You ask and immediately hear his sobbing stop.

“Yes!” He answers eagerly and excitedly. “I want to see you and kiss you and hold you! Oh, please, oh, please let me hold you! I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you all over and hug you so tight that you never leave–”

“Okay,” you cut Dean off who has seemingly switched back to his puppy dog love state. “Okay, listen Dean, I’ll let you do all that,” you shake your head, wondering how you got in this situation or how in the hell he wound up like this, “you can do all of those things, in just a minute, okay?” You ponder the thought of having Dean actually kiss you and what it would be like, but soon realize that not only is now not the time to fantasize, but you weren’t sure you wanted to be in the arms of an insane love sick psycho.

“Really?!” You hear Dean get up and start to rattle the door knob.

You try to come up with an excuse for making him wait. “Yes, really. But before you do, give me a minute to, um, wash my, uh, face and brush my teeth.” You try to say as convincingly as possible.

“Okay! Okay! Yes!” You feel the ground shake as Dean jumps up and down. You go over to the faucet and turn on the water then go over and open the window. You continue to hear the eager Dean ask repeatedly if you are done yet and you respond for as long as you can till you crawl out the window taking off as fast as possible.

——————————-

After hopping out the window, you know you only have a matter of seconds till Dean realizes you’re gone. You manage to run towards the front of the building and hear your name being shouted by Dean in the motel room. You rush over to a black Cadillac in the parking lot that has two ladies coming out of it and hide behind them.

“Tell him I went over there!” You say to the ladies as you point to a waffle restaurant only a little ways away. The women look at you then see Dean who continues to call out your name, kick down the motel room’s front door. 

“Y/N?! Y/N! Where did you go?!” Dean yells out searching the parking lot. 

The women look towards you, scared for your sake and get Dean’s attention. “Young man,” the one lady says as Dean looks at her with the same death stare he used on Sam, “She went that way.” The lady pointed in the same direction you had asked them to. Dean’s death stare turns back into a big smile as he bolts down the road in a black-tee, boxers, and bare feet.

You get up from behind the car and watch as Dean runs further away from you. “Thank you, ladies,” you say as you brush yourself off. They look at you as if you are as insane as the man they just encountered. “Um,” you try to think of an explanation, “he’s my Ex!” You exclaim with a smile hoping that the comment somehow answered all their questions. You gave them a nod and ran back to the motel room, stepping over the disconnected door that was in the path.

You rushed over to Sam and bent down, trying to wipe the blood from his nose. “Sam!” You shake him, trying to get him to regain consciousness. “Sam, wake up!”

As you slap his face, he sits up taking a deep breath. “What the hell happened?!” He asks, trying to wipe the blood from his nose. He takes a look around the room then asks, “Where’s Dean?!” Sam asks as the panic in his voice rises.

“Away!” You blurt out before another Winchester starts to freak out. You help Sam stand up. “He’s looking for me at the diner right now.”

“What?! Why would he be looking for you there?” Sam asks, still confused about the whole situation.

“That’s not important, but right now, we have to go before he comes back.” Sam nods his head back while he holds his nose with one hand and you hold his other, guiding him outside to the Impala. 

The two ladies, now getting their groceries from their car, see you and the bloody Sam as you open Baby’s doors. “This uh, this is my current boyfriend.” You say with a smile, trying to offer yet another reasonable explanation. “He and my Ex don’t get along very well.” The women look at you with the same confused and shocked expressions on their face as before. You smile and get in the car hoping to never see them or the motel room again.

——————————-

“Are you okay?” You ask as you take your hand from the wheel to wipe the blood from Sam’s shirt.

“No!” Sam yells out. “I am far from okay! Pull over.”

“Yep,” you say as you pull the car into the parking lot of a dollar store. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“What the hell just happened back there, Y/N?!” Sam asks, still while holding his head back to stop the bleeding.

“You think I know?!” You laugh. “All I know is that he was fine half an hour ago when he was unconscious and then it all escalated really quick. You were the one who detected the crazy first!”

“I guess but that doesn’t mean I know why he tried to fricking murder me!” Sam throws his bloodied tissues on the car’s floor and looks at you. “All I know is that when he woke up, the moment I said your name, a switch flipped and he kept rambling on about you. It was like that until you came back.”

“Okay,” you huff, “All I know is me coming in and him saying he loved me, knocking you out, me having to lock myself in the bathroom, and him again saying how he loves me and all sorts of crazy. He even started crying at one point!”

“Why would he cry?” Sam asks as another confused look comes to his face.

“Beats me. He just got upset, I guess, when I separated myself from him. And then he knocked down the door trying to find me.”

“What happened after that?”

“Thanks to some lady who told him I was at the waffle place, he ran down the street headed to the restaurant. After that, I came to get you and now here we are.” You put your hands in your hair, considering pulling it all out if it would help clear your head. Sam’s phone rings and both of you jumped proving that you were both still very much on edge.

“It’s Cas,” Sam says as he answers, putting the phone on the dash after turning on the speaker. 

“Hello?” Says Cas with his grim and rough voice. Surprisingly, this gave you some sort of peace, knowing that it was the only normal that you had experienced today.

“Hey, Cas,” you answered, happy to hear from him.

“Hello, Y/N. Is everything alright? Sam, I saw your missed call from earlier.”

“When did you call Cas?” You ask Sam, wondering when he had a second to place a phone call in the midst of the chaos.

“I tried to this morning after Dean started acting all crazy but he never answered,” Sam replied.

“I’m sorry?” Cas said with worry in his voice. “What do you mean when ‘Dean started acting crazy?’ Is he alright?”

“No, definitely not,” you let out.

Sam goes into further detail trying to explain the events of this morning to Castiel. “Now we don’t know what is going on other than the fact that he is madly and crazily in love with Y/N.”

“What happened before all this happened?” Cas asks as you and Sam both try to remember what it was like before the chaos. 

“Um, Dean and I got drunk?” You answer as you try not to let anything else slip out about what happened while you were drunk.

“Before you got intoxicated,” Cas clarifies.

“The hunt,” Sam says with a revelation coming to his face. “The witch, the blast!” Sam says with a smile coming to his face.

“You’re right!” You say returning the smile back to him.

“What happened with the witch?” Cas asks as you and Sam continue to recall the event.

“There was a witch on the hunt last night and she blasted Dean with some spell when he got in front of the guy she intended to hit!” Sam says.

“And you think that the blast has to do with Dean’s behavior?” Cas asks unsure.

“It has to be it,” Sam adds.

You butt in, “when I was with the witch, she was telling me about how she wanted to be loved and how her kills were accidents. So what if she was trying to use a love spell on all of them and that’s what Dean got hit with?”

“That makes sense right, Cas?” Sam asks, trying to back your theory up.

“I suppose that would make sense but if she was killing people accidentally, how did her trial and error not result in Dean’s death?” Cas questions and it turns your smile into an immediate frown.

You and Sam look at each other as if you could read one another’s thoughts.

——————————-

You had been driving down the road between the waffle place and the motel room for several minutes now, trying to find your long lost Dean. Right before you pulled into the parking lot of Waldo’s Waffles, you saw him. Dean had been running around the building, still in his boxers, trying to get away what appeared to be two waiters and one fry cook complete with spatula chasing him. 

“Oh, boy,” You say to yourself as you park the Impala and step out of it. You watch the race around the restaurant and find it slightly entertaining. Dean continues to call out your name while throwing everything he can in his tracks to stop his chasers. 

“Y/N! Y/N!” Dean calls out followed by a trio of yells and screams.

“You get back here you son of a bitch!” The cook screams, sending his spatula straight at Dean’s head causing him to topple over and fall into a pile of garbage. The three run over to Dean but before they get the chance to finish, whatever game they were playing, you race over and flash one of your badges.

“FBI, Agent Seger. Listen gentlemen, I’m gonna need one of you to explain what is happening here,” You say with your authoritative tone. The men look at each other hesitant. “Now, please!” You yell out causing all three to talk at the same time.

“This psychopath came in here calling out for someone named Y/N, half dressed and he kept trying to come in the kitchen to find her,” says one.

“Then, he decides that he’s gonna push his way in the kitchen which is off limits to anyone other than staff,” says another.

Finally, the cook speaks up, “I heard the ruckus from outside so I came out of the kitchen to find that this dick was throwing plates at my staff. I grabbed my shotgun from the back causing him to get even more pissed and aggressive.”

“And hoss here wouldn’t have that!” One of the waiters added.

“No sir,” the cook says, “when he pulled Barbara from my hands, I smashed a plate on his head to see how he liked it.”

“Barbara?” You asked.

“My shotgun,” the cook answered.

“Right,” you nod wondering why Dean didn’t kill them already, “then what happened?”

One of the waiters answers, “the dude out of nowhere started throwing waffles everywhere than took off. Me and the guys took right out after him. And then, you saw, the boss man here knocked him out with a spatula!”

“Epic!” The other waiter said. 

“Right,” you say again. “You’ve done your country a great service by, um, using your spatula with such expertise,” you spit out betting with yourself on whether or not they’d believe you.

“You’re welcome, agent,” the cook says.

“Proud to have helped America,” says the one waiter as you signal for them to leave giving them a cheap smile as they go back inside.

You won the bet.

You see Dean get up from the ground and shake off the trash. It takes him about one second for him to see you, standing alone, with no defense. “Y/N!” He calls out as his newly signature smile appears on his face.

“Time to go,” you say under your breath as you run at full speed towards the Impala with Dean chasing after you.

“Y/N, I’m so happy I found you! I thought you ran away from me but I understand that you just needed some air. Right? That was why you left me?” Dean asks, almost sad that you had left him in the motel room.

“Right, of course!” You and Dean stand across from each other with the Impala in between you.

“I love you, Y/N!” Dean says as he walks around the car, slowly moving towards you.

“I know you do, Dean,” you stand in front of the passenger side and Dean stands on the other side, across from you with his gaze tracking your every move. “And that’s why I’m sorry,” you say giving a semi smile.

Dean looks at you with a head tilt and a furrowed brow, “Sorry for what?”

Boom

The front car door opens hitting Dean in the chest and below the belt. Sam steps out from the car grabbing Dean by the collar. “Hiya, Dean,” he says, giving him a quick smile then serving a big knuckle sandwich knocking him down for the count.


	3. Roll on Down the Highway

Dean looks at you with a head tilt and a furrowed brow, “Sorry for what?”

Boom

The front car door opens hitting Dean in the chest and below the belt. Sam steps out from the car grabbing Dean by the collar. “Hiya, Dean,” he says, giving him a quick smile then serving a big knuckle sandwich knocking him down for the count.

———————-

“Waffles… waf… waffles. Waffles. Waffles.” Dean jolts up in the backseat. “Waffles!”

“Great,” you sigh, “He’s up.”

“Y/N,” Sam says as he gives you a look.

“Y/N!” Dean says as his smile returns and tries to get closer towards you.

You turn around in the seat to look at him and point to the handcuffs holding him to the door handle. “Sorry, pal. It’s for your own good. And our good.”

“Oh,” Dean says with a frown after examining his restraints. “That’s okay, my Love. If you feel better about having me restrained then it’s fine,” Dean says, smiling at you, still trying to get as close as he can.

You and Sam had been driving with an unconscious Dean in the backseat for about three hours. You still had nine hours to go till you reached the bunker and Cas. Sam threw a few theories your way on how Dean is still alive with his insides intact and you shared some of your own thoughts. Well, not all of your thoughts. This ride was the first time you have been able to take a breath and calm your pounding headache that has only managed to get worse. Every time there was silence between you and Sam, Dean entered your mind.

You remember the first time you met the brothers, Dean to be exact.

——————–

Five years ago, back when you were all young and naïve.

Back in your hometown, Harrisburg, South Dakota, you sat at a local bar called “Timmy’s.” You were waiting to talk to some hunters that Sheriff Mills had claimed to be ‘damn good at their job.’ You were familiar with hunting and what was used to kill what. Your dad used to be one of the best. It was the family job. Just you, mom, and dad. It was like that for years until it became just you and your dad. Remembering the loss of your mother was a burden that no matter how much you dug, you couldn’t quite bury. Quitting the life and leaving your father was the biggest regret of your life.

In the corner of your eye you saw a young man dressed in a cheap suit walk inside the bar looking around. He was attractive. He didn’t look like the usual old, beer bellied, bush bearded, hunter that you expected. He looked different, acted different. You stood and signaled for him to come over. “You Mr. Winchester?” You asked, reaching out for a handshake.

“Don’t be so formal, call me Dean,” He said with a flirtatious smile as he shook your hand then took a seat.

“With all do respect Mr. Winchester,” you said, giving him a more simple smile and taking your seat, “I’d rather be formal than familiar with you and your life.”

“Understood. So, are you aware of my life and what I do?” He asked, becoming more formal in tone and posture.

“Let’s just say I’ve been around this block before,” you said.

You continued talking shop with him and you offered your suggestion on the monster at hand. 

“A Chupacabra.”

“A what?” Dean asks looking at you as if you were insane.

“A Chupacabra. Every hunter worth his while has at least come across one of them in their time.”

“Yeah,” Dean says nervously. “I know that.” He gives off an unconvincing smile.

“Please tell me you’ve killed a Chupacabra before,” you say, wondering how good his bluff was.

“Duh, of course I have,” he says once again unconvincingly.

“Jody said that you were professionals, not rookies,” you let out.

“Listen,” Dean looked for a name.

“Y/N,” you said.

“Yeah, listen Y/N, me and my brother stopped the apocalypse,” he says with a more aggressive tone.

“After you started it,” you respond.

“On accident!”

“Well that’s assuring!” You say as you realize what a waste of time this has been. “You need to get out of this town before you get yourself killed. Or start the end of the world by, ‘accident,’ again.”

“What? Just because I haven’t killed one of these sons of bitches before doesn’t mean I can’t, or that I should just leave. People are dying here,” he says.

“I know people are dying, that’s why I called for hunters to come and stop it. But Chupacabra aren’t some vamp or ghoul that can be done quick and easy by some inexperienced professional wannabes. They are more dangerous, deadly, and the lore on them doesn’t help but give untested suggestions!”

“Well once I kill it I guess I’ll be experienced then won’t I?!” Dean gets up from the table and leaves.

“Or you’ll get yourself killed!” You yell out as he walks out the bar. “Jerk,” you mumble to yourself.

–

Later that evening, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Sure you gave Dean a warning and told him to leave but then again, you knew he wouldn’t listen and was destined to get himself killed. “That’s okay,” you think as you don’t believe in destiny. Anyway you looked at it, all you saw was their blood being on your hands. With that thought, you wiped the dust off of your old silver dagger and went to the spot that you and Dean discussed where it would most likely be at.

–

You pulled up in your old pick up to a clearing in between a farm and forest. You park the car next to a 67 impala and get out meeting Dean and his brother. “Nice wheels,” you say.

“Yeah, you’re not thanked,” Dean says as he glares at you. “What are you doing here?” He says with an annoyed tone.

“I’m here to save your ass and since I arrived here before you were stupid enough to walk in there unequipped, maybe I’ll just stop you before you have to be saved,” you respond.

“I’m sorry,” Sam butts in, “Who are you?” He asks.

“Nobody,” Dean answers. “And nobody should be going on her way before she gets too ‘familiar’ with all this.”

You roll your eyes and go over to Sam pulling out a silver dagger. “I’m Y/N. I met your brother earlier and tried to give him some good advice.”

“Telling me to leave is not advice!” Dean says.

“I also said that the lore wasn’t any good!” You hand Sam the dagger, “Here.”

Sam takes it from you, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you smile. “I like you much better than your brother. He’s a jerk.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he replies. You go over to Dean as you pull out another silver dagger.

“I already have one,” he says waving it in your face.

“So what?” Sam asks. “Silver kills it?”

“Not really,” you answer. “You need its blood to kill it.”

“How are we supposed to get that?” Dean asks.

You send a sly smile his way, “Good question, Winchester.”

You pulled out tripwires from the back of your car and explained that once the Chupacabra surrounds the bait, he walks over a wire, cutting him and using the blood from the wire, you smear it on a dagger then go in for the kill.

“Where are we gonna find bait?” Dean asks.

You smile at Dean and look at Sam.

–

After setting up wires in between trees all around where Dean would stand in for bait, you and Sam hid behind a tree waiting for the Chupacabra to make a move.

“Are you sure this will work?” Sam whispers.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you reply.

“So are you a hunter?”

You let out a small chuckle, “Was a hunter.”

Sam laughs a little. “I know what you mean,” he says with a smile.

“You do?” You ask, curious.

“I was a hunter with my dad and brother until I got out. Dad went missing, got pulled back in. Stuff happened. Stayed in. Now it’s just me and Dean carrying on the family business.”

“Wow,” you shake your head, “and I know what you mean by ‘stuff happened.’ It just seems like it had a different effect on me.” You peak at Dean from behind the tree, sitting on a broken log with a small fire in front of him.

“I guess so,” Sam says.

You turn your attention back to him. “Do you regret it?” You ask. He looks at you confused. You clarify, “Regret getting back in?”

“Did for a while but now, if anything, I regret getting out,” he answers.

You ponder for a moment his words but stop once you hear it. The Chupacabra. You hit Sam’s shoulder and signal its arrival. Sam nods and the two of you start moving towards the different wires.

Snikt

You and Sam both see the blood left on one of the wires right as the Chupacabra sees you. “Run!” You yell at Sam. Sam takes off with the monster chasing after him. You race over to the blood and wipe it on your dagger just in time for Sam to get thrown into a tree right beside you. You hide behind a tree and watch to see where it went. “Dammit!” You mutter under your breath, finding it nowhere in sight.

–

You slowly walk over to Sam and check his pulse. “Good,” you whisper, feeling a heartbeat. You creep over slowly to where Dean is. You see him. You see it.

Screech

It’s voice startles Dean as it jumps on him, clawing at his face and trying to take a bite out of his neck. Dean struggles with the beast, trying to kick, punch, and hurl it off of him. Suddenly, it’s weight becomes much heavier to Dean as it’s attacks stop. He tosses the Chupacabra aside.

“Told you I’d save your ass,” you said as you reached out your hand to help him up.

“Thanks,” he says looking at you wide-eyed. You wipe off the blood from your blade on the side of your pants.

“Come here,” you tell Dean. He walks over hesitant. You reach up to his face and tilt it down. You pull out a rag from your back pocket and wipe the excess blood from his face.

“Better?” You ask.

“Sure,” he says with a soft tone.

You look at him trying to get a read. “What is it?” You ask.

“It’s just,” he takes a deep breath, “you have no problem saving me but…”

“But what?” You demand, an angered tone in your voice.

“But when it comes to someone else, you just what? Look away?” Dean’s tone rises with frustration. “You clearly could’ve taken this on by yourself and got it wrapped up and done with after one person got killed. I just don’t get why you waited till twelve ended up dead before you did something.”

It was like his words pierced an old wound.

“It wasn’t like that,” you say softly, not sure you can even justify yourself.

Dean looks at the expression on your face and changes his tone in order to lighten the mood. “Your right,” he says with a smile, “What do I know? I’m just a jerk, right?” He asks, trying to make you feel better.

“Right,” you answer with a broken tone.

Sam walks over, “Hey, you mind if I borrow my brother for a moment?” He asks. You nod and the two walk away.

You hear them mumble but you remain silent and lost in your own forgotten thoughts.

–

Sam and Dean walk over to you. “Listen,” Sam says, “me and Dean were talking and we thought that it might be nice to have some help.” Before you have a chance to decline, he continues. “I know you said you got out but tonight, you are really good at saving lives. You’re smart and great at hand-to-hand.”

“I don’t know about that,” you smile. “You seemed pretty unconscious during the actual fight.”

“I saw,” Dean says. “You are more capable than most hunters we know. Whoever taught you, taught you good. But we understand if you don’t wanna get involved.”

You looked up to the brothers and felt the feeling of family for a moment. It had been so long since you were a part of a team. A part of people who made something whole. “I’ll think about it,” you said.

“Great,” Sam said as he pulled out a fake FBI card. “Here’s our number. Just give us a call if you want in the chaos.” You smile and take the card. “Ready?” Sam asks Dean.

“Yeah,” he responds as Sam walks back to the car. “Hey,” Dean says to you. “Thanks for saving my life. And sorry for what I said ab–”

You cut him off. “Don’t mention it, Dean,” you say with a smile.

“First name basis? How very informal of you,” he says, returning the smile and walks off.

–

It wasn’t but a week later that you called Sam and decided to join their group of merry men, plus woman, and started to fight every hard hitter that came their way. You felt like you had a family again. And they were your family.

——————————

“Y/N? Y/N!”

“What?!” You answer agitatedly, turning around.

“Sorry, I just wanted to hear your voice again,” Dean replies with a smile.

You roll your eyes as you turn back around facing the long stretch of road ahead of you. “Can I just knock him out again?” You ask Sam.

“No,” he says with a huff. “He might have a concussion. We want Dean fixed, not dead.”

“Are you sure about that?” You say sarcastically. Sam gives you another look.

“You wa… you want me dead?” Dean asks with a saddened tone.

You let out a huff realizing how sensitive Dean is now. You contemplate which is better: Lovey-dovey Dean or the stupid, sarcastic one. “No,” you turn around and look in the puppy’s eyes, “I don’t want you dead Dean. I just don’t like what’s going on with you.” You smile at him realizing that this is still Dean and he still is your best friend.

“Oh,” he says with a smile. “Is there anything I can do to make it better?” He asks so innocently.

“No, not really, Dean.”

“Well, maybe after I kill Sam, me and you can figure something out together,” Dean says with a nod and smile.

You and Sam both turn around and in sync say, “What?!”

Sam starts to swerve the car. “Keep your eyes on the road!” You demand.

“He just said he was gonna kill me!” He exclaims.

“That doesn’t mean kill us in a car accident before he gets the chance!” You smack Sam on the back of his head. You look back at Dean, “Why do you wanna kill Sam?!”

“I don’t want to but he keeps getting in the way of me and you!” Dean answers.

“No! Bad Dean!” You smack him on his head. “Do not kill Sam! Don’t kill Cas either! You know what, just don’t kill anyone. Okay? No killing!”

“Thank you,” Sam says.

“You’re welcome,” you respond as you turn back around. You look at your hand and see that there is a bit of blood on the edge of your fingers. You turn to Dean who has his head buried in the corner. “Dean?!” He looks up at you with tears coming down his face. “What is it now?” You ask, letting out another sigh.

Dean’s lip starts to tremble and he mumbles out, “You,” he pauses to sniffle and wipe his tears on his sleeve, “You said I was bad and then,” he sniffs, “then you hit me.”

You look at Sam with a loss for words. “I,” you clear your throat trying to find your thoughts, “Sam?” You ask.

“Yeah?” He responds.

“Keep the car steady,” you demand.

“Wait, why?” He asks. You roll your eyes and try to crawl over the seat. “Y/N! What are you,” Sam lets out a huff, “You sure you wanna be in the back with him?” He asks as you plop in the seat beside Dean who is still cowering in the corner.

“He’s hurt, Sam. And like you said, we want to help him not kill him. Though, the latter would be the easier option.” Dean lets out another sob. “I’m kidding!” You say defensively. “Come here, Dean,” you order. Dean shakes his head and moves more away from you. “Dean,” you say sincerely, “please. Let me see you. Don’t you want to see me?” You ask, trying to get a response.

“Yes,” Dean whispers.

“Then come here.” Dean looks at you again and hesitantly scoots closer to you. “See, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

Dean sniffs again. “No,” he says with his quivering lip.

You pause for a moment to look at Dean. Really, get a good look at him. This was Dean. The same Dean who you have known for years and the one who has saved your life more times than you can count. This same Dean was right in front of you, right now. Sure he was under a spell to be in love with you and you weren’t sure if this hurts you more than it does him but none of that mattered. You looked into Dean’s watery bright green eyes. You know that until you can find a cure, you risk hurting Dean by every mean or sarcastic comment you make. You can’t do that to him, you don’t want to do that to him. You love him and as of right now, he loves you.

You take a rag from the back of your pocket and signal for Dean to bring his head forward. You look in his eyes and gently place your hand on the side of his head. He lets out a sigh. You realize that this is the first physical interaction you two have had since this whole thing started. “It’s okay,” you say as you tilt his head down as you get a look at the top of it.

“What is it?” Sam asks looking at the two of you in the rear view mirror.

You pull out a little piece of ceramic from Dean hair. “Looks like the cook at the diner didn’t need Barbara,” you say as you wipe the blood from his head.

“What?” Sam asks, confused.

“Nothing,” you say with a sigh. You lift Dean’s head back up and once again see the tears that still remain on his face. You take your hands and place them on his cheeks as you wipe the tears away. “Better?”

Dean gulps. “Sure,” he says as a huge smile returns to his face. He takes a deep breath and tries to move as close as the cuffs will let him.

“What are you doing?” You ask with a slight laugh.

“I just, I just wanna be close to you, Y/N,” he says and it makes you blush a little.

You smile and look at how happy he appears. Something that you have never seen before. “Dean?” You ask cautiously.

“Yes, my Love?” He answers sweetly.

“I mean this in the kindest way possible,” you smile trying to reassure your statement, “But I’d rather you not be so close cause you kind of smell like trash.” You watch as his smile changes and he moves away from you.

“Oh,” he says with sadness in his voice. He leans his head down and smells himself. “Oh,” he says again, understanding what you meant.

“Yeah,” Sam says, “I wasn’t gonna say anything cause I didn’t think it was that important but yeah. It’s really bad.”

“Oh?” Dean looks at Sam then back at you. He looks at you with a bright grin. “I can fix it!” He says, starting to wiggle around the seat.

“Dean? What are you doing?” You ask, worried that he’s trying to break out of his cuffs. He starts to bite at his shirt.

“Dude!” Sam says, as Dean tries to grab his shirt with his teeth. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to,” he grabs the hem of his shirt with his teeth. He wriggles around causing his shirt to come off of him. His shirt comes completely off with it getting tied up in his cuffs. He takes a deep breath. “I was trying to take my shirt off so I didn’t smell like trash. See?” He looks at you as you look at him shocked on how he managed to do that among other things. “It’s better, right? Now we can be close again!” He smiles excitedly.

Dean was now in his boxers, without a shirt, handcuffed.

“Um…” You look at shirtless Dean which is a sight that you have indeed seen before but still, it was different now. “It’s not that much better,” you say, still in shock.

“I can take off my boxers!” he exclaims as he tries to pull them down.

“No!” you yell.

“No!” Sam copies.

You reach for his boxers trying to keep them from coming down. “No, no, no, no, no, no. No,” you say, making sure he gets the message.

“You sure?” Dean asks.

“Yes!” Sam yells.

“I’m, uh,” your voice cracks, “I’m sure.” You smile and take a breath.

“I just want to be close to you, Y/N! Close enough so that I can hold you and kiss you and fe–”

“Stop!” You say, trying to cut him off before the rating becomes R. “Nope! No need for any of that.” You look at Dean who still is enchanted by you.

“Whatever you say, my Love.”

“Right,” you say, mustering up another smile. You think for a moment if you would rather wrestle semi-naked Dean in order to get him to put on a shirt that smells like garbage or, rather sit in silence with a semi-naked Dean sitting as close as he possibly can to you. Out of your own self control and respect for Dean, you chose the latter.

——————-

After a long and grueling car ride complete with Romeo spitting out one complement after another, you were finally home. You had pulled up in the garage and were extremely thankful to see Cas waiting for you all.

Sam opened the car door and got out trying to stretch his limbs. “Hey, Cas,” he said.

“Hello,” Cas said, giving Sam a nod. “Where’s Dean?”

“Yo!” You called out from the backseat. Castiel walked over to the window. “Right here.”

“Why is he in his underwear?” He asks, tilting his head at you.

“Long story. Just do your thing,” you say with a smile. You hop out of the car and let Cas slide in.

“What?!” Dean says, trying to break free, “No! Don’t touch me!”

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says as he reaches his two fingers to Dean’s forehead.

“Y/N! Y/N! Don’t let them take my love for you away!” He tries to squirm away unsuccessfully. “I love yo–”

Dun

——————–

You, Cas, and Sam all look at, once again, an unconscious Dean, lying on the bed in the infirmary. Dean’s shirt has been put back on, though he still is in his boxers, and is handcuffed to the bed frame.

“You think you can cure him?” Sam asks Cas.

“It depends,” he answers.

“On what?” You ask.

“She was experimenting around and this same spell has caused other men to die. Correct?” You and Sam nod. “When it comes to a new spell, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact problem. And on top of that, this is the first one that has been successful. Not to mention that this witch is extremely old and powerful.”

You and Sam look at each other and you ask again, “So? Can you fix it?”

Cas sighs. “I can try but I cannot promise that I can fix it.”

Sam signals for Cas to go over to Dean. Cas sits on the edge of the bed and places his palm on Deans forehead. His hand lights up and as does Dean’s skeleton. You and Sam give each other a worried look. Cas then closes his hand and gets back to where he was standing.

“So?” You ask. “Did y–”

Dean wakes up and gasps. He tries to sit up but can’t due to the handcuffs. You and Sam run over to Dean’s side.

“Dean!” Sam says as his brother tries to calm down.

“What the…” Dean takes a look around but stops and looks to be in pain. Dean yells out, scrounging up his face.

“Dean!” Sam says again. “Wh–What is it?!”

“My head!” Dean screams. You then take a key to uncuff one of his hands which he immediately uses to rub his head.

“Dean! Are you alright?” You ask, helping Dean to sit up.

Dean gets himself under control and sits on the edge of the bed. “I’m hungover and in pain!” He yells at you. “What the hell is going on? Why am I handcuffed to this stupid bed?!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sam says, trying to calm down Dean. “Just take it easy alright. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I, uh,” Dean shakes his head, “I remember this morning.”

“Good. That’s good.” Sam smiles. “What else do you remember?”

“I remember you waking me up and then you said something.” Dean shifts his focus to Sam. “What was it that you said?”

“I said we had a long drive and I mentioned that you wouldn’t let me or–”

“Y/N!” Dean sees you and his eyes turn into a brighter and more intense shade of green for a moment. He changes back into the more love sick persona. “I remember everything,” he says with a happier tone, “well, kind of.”

“You do?” You ask as you can tell that something is different about him yet again.

“Yeah,” he looks around the room instead just at you. “I remember getting hit in the head a lot which is making things sort of fuzzy. But I do remember,” he pauses to look at you right in the eyes, “I remember that I love you, Y/N.”


	4. Ramblin' Gamblin' Man

“You do?” You ask as you can tell that something is different about him yet again.

“Yeah,” he looks around the room instead just at you. “I remember getting hit in the head a lot which is making things sort of fuzzy. But I do remember,” he pauses to look at you right in the eyes, “I remember that I love you, Y/N.”

You take a deep breath, wishing that this was some odd Deja vu instead of what it really was: the truth. And the truth is the fact that Dean Winchester is in love with you thanks to some stupid spell. “Great,” you say, tossing your hands up in the air and go to take a seat.

“So, you couldn’t fix him?” Sam asks as he runs his hands through his hair.

“No,” answers Cas. “I wasn’t able to fix him but I think I did help him.”

“See, Y/N?” Dean pipes up. “I still love you and I always will! There’s no need to worry!” Dean starts to stare at you puppy-like again. You sigh in frustration. It has been the longest 24 hours of your life and your only hope was Cas, and that hope has now failed.

“Wait,” Sam says, “Cas, what do you mean by you helping him?” You look up at Cas, hoping to hope again.

Cas walks over to Dean. “The spell essentially supercharged his emotions and by doing so, it caused him to lose control,” Cas explains. “Dean was without any filter to discern his emotions or actions.” Cas uncuffs Dean causing you and Sam to get up and away from the lovey-dovey psycho. “I was unable to cure the emotional status but I did replace the filter.”

“Cas!” Sam says. “What the hell are you uncuffing him for?! He wants to kill me! And you!” He took the words right out of your mouth.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says as he stands up and starts walking towards you and Sam.

“Get back!” Sam yells as he pulls out his gun on Dean, causing him to put his hands in the air and walk back.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Woah, there,” Dean says, trying to ease you and Sam, which he is doing unsuccessfully. “Listen, I don’t wanna kill you, alright? Just put the gun down,” He says with a smile.

“No! You tried to kill me several times today!”

“Fair point. But it’s just that I’m better now and I promise I won’t kill you.”

“He won’t kill you, Sam,” Cas says. “He was without a filter earlier which caused him to react so violently but now, he has a filter so that rage is under control.”

“See?” Dean says. “I’m all good, Sammy. So how about you put the gun away?” Sam looks at Cas for reassurance and Cas nods. Sam puts his gun down. “Good,” Dean says, causing everyone to relax. Everyone except you. You have remained silent and still as you watch the boys discuss amongst themselves.

“So what now?” Sam asks. “Is the spell going to kill him?”

“What?!” Dean says with his voice getting about several octaves higher. “I–I don’t want to die! Am I gonna die?! Please! Oh my god, I’m gonna die. I’m totally gonna die.” Dean starts to pace around the room becoming extremely anxious.

“Dude,” Sam says as he puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Calm down, alright?”

“Dean,” Cas says, “You aren’t going to die. And I would suggest that you calm down but I know that you are unable to in your current state.”

“What?! What does ‘current state’ mean? Am–Am I sick? Is something wrong with me? I think I’m gonna throw up,” Dean says as he puts his hand up towards his mouth.

“No, Dean. You are not sick. You are just struggling to control your emotions due to the spell.”

“So whenever Dean gets scared, or happy, or sad, what? Does he just get really, really, into whatever emotion? Is that what it’s like?” Sam asks.

“Yes. I suppose that is an accurate summary. It will continue like that until he gets used to it,” Cas answers. “I do have to ask, when I felt the spell, I felt a part of Dean in the spell. Did the witch use any of his DNA?”

“Not that I know of. We were there for like a minute. But is that what you think caused him to not die?”

“It is a possibility as to why he didn’t die. Dean?” Cas asks, causing Dean to stop pacing in order to look at him, “Did the witch take any of your DNA?”

“What?! No!” Dean answers defensively.

“So how the hell is he not dead?” Sam asks. “I mean, if the witch was old, powerful, and experimenting, how is he not dead? All the others were.”

“I don’t know,” Cas replies. “I do know that the spell worked on him. I am however still confused on how I felt him in the spell but you all say that she didn’t get any of his DNA.”

“But she did,” You say, turning everyone’s attention to you.

“What?” Sam asks.

“She did get his DNA,” you say again as you walk towards Dean and pull his hand out. Dean looks at you with his big eyes as yet another huge smile appears on his face. He stands still as you inspect his hand. “See?” You point out the gnash on his hand.

“What is that from?” Cas asks you.

“While you all were talking, I was trying to think of how she could’ve gotten his DNA. Last night, when she threw Dean across the room, he scraped his hand on her little cauldron, causing his blood to mix in with the spell!” You look at Cas. “That’s got to be it, right?”

“That does explain what I felt, but I still don’t know how he is alive,” Cas replies.

You all look at each other in wonderment. Dean won’t die which should be good but in your line of work, good usually isn’t good.

———————–

You had headed back to your room after the continuation of questions for Dean. All you had discovered is that Dean was still in love with you, and more emotional than a teenage girl. Still unaware of how he was alive, you all each took a stack of books, trying to find a cure or some answer to the mystery. You tried to read but couldn’t. You’d end up just staring at a page while your mind went other places. This day had already been insane and overwhelming, but no matter the crazy, you still couldn’t help take your mind off what was before you. Something that you could never bury whether it was an apocalypse on your hands or a lovesick Dean. Something that was dark and brutal. It was the da–

Knock. Knock.

“Yeah?” You ask as your attention shifts to the door.

The door opens slightly as Dean’s head peaks through. “Hey,” Dean says as he clears his throat. “Hi, can I, uh, can I come in? Do you like, mind? Cause if not I can go or if you want to let me in than I can come in, which I guess you know that with me already asking if I can come i–”

“Dean?” You say, cutting him off.

“Yep. Yeah?” He answers while you try to figure out your own reply. You knew he wouldn’t hurt or harm you. You’d most likely be the one to make him cry on accident. Yes, he was in love with you but it wasn’t really bad. It was just different and really odd. If you had time to process the situation, you might actually enjoy being the center of Dean Winchester’s attention. But now was not the time to crush on your best friend. There was never a time.

“You can come in,” you answer signaling for him to sit on the bed.

“Really?!” Dean asks excitedly as his whole face lightens up. You nod. “Awesome. Awesome,” he stands still in the doorway, proud of his achievement.

“Dean? You wanna come in?” You ask, snapping him out of his happy daze.

“Yes. Yes! Right.” He comes into the room with two plates in his hands and sits over the edge of the bed. “Um. I uh, I made you a sandwich. Well, technically I made two sandwiches because I wasn’t sure which one you wanted. Hey! Which wich you wanted. That’s funny. Which wich? Ha.” He looks at you expecting a reaction but you just stare at him trying to understand how this spell could possibly make him like this. “No, not funny. Right. Um, so here.” He puts the plates in front of you, sitting crisscross on the bed. “This one is Pb&J and the other is grilled cheese. I wasn’t sure which one you liked more, so I made both so you had an option but you know? You could just have both.” He smiles at you again, looking lost in your face.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll take the peanut butter.”

“Okay. Awesome.” He hands you the plate and gets up, seeming to struggle to leave the room.

“You can stay,” You say, getting another big grin from Winchester.

“Really?!”

“Yeah. Just, stay and eat the grilled cheese with me. If you want?”

“I’d love to!” Dean rushes back to the bed and sits across from you. You smile and laugh a little.

“What’s funny?” Dean asks, looking concerned.

“Nothing. It’s just, it’s you.” Dean starts to look sad. You put your hand on him stopping his train of thought. “It’s not bad, Dean. It’s just odd to see you like this. It’s funny because you’re, you're…” You try to find words.

“I’m what?”

“You're… expressive and open. It’s crazy because you’ve always been so closed off with me and now that you’re not, it’s just funny for one thing.”

“I’m sorry that I haven’t been open with you.”

“You don’t have to be. Sure I’ve wished that you would let me in more but, being closed off is kind of your thing. Sam, Cas, then me. That’s the order of who you’re most open with but by the time it gets to me, you’ve already gone into lockdown mode.” You take another bite of your sandwich and watch as Dean ponders your words.

“I don’t know why I’m like that. I just know that whoever I get close to, tends to get close to dying as well. I think that’s why I’ve never told you I love you before. But now,” Dean looks up at you so intensely that it draws your attention to him. “Now, I can’t help but love you. I love you so much, Y/N.“

You laugh a little. "Dean, it’s the spell making you love me. Loving me prior is only something you’re saying, not meaning. This is all just because of the spell. Nothing more.”

“It’s not the spell. I love you and I’ve loved you for years and I’m so happy that I get to tell you. And it’s taking everything in me to not kiss you or touch you or even hold you. You’re gorgeous and I don’t know what could’ve possibly made me hold all this back before.”

You stare into his beautiful emerald eyes and think of how this was what you’ve always wanted. Dean Winchester, to be in love with you. But now that it was here, it wasn’t right. You’ve been telling yourself that this was Dean. It was Dean so you couldn’t let him down or hurt him. But it really wasn’t. Even right now, Dean would never talk to you like this. He’d probably be out hooking up with some other ‘sweetheart.’ This wasn’t fair. If you were under some love spell, which wouldn’t be too far from the truth, Dean would never put you in a situation like this. Dean is sitting here, mesmerized with you, and struggling.

You take a deep breath knowing that the next words to come out will most likely be regretful. "Dean, I don’t think we should be spending time together.”

It takes a second for Dean to break out of his trance. “Oh,” he says as if you crushed his heart. You try to reach for his hand but he moves his further away.

“It’s not like I’m saying we shouldn’t talk or anything. It’s just that I don’t want anything to happen in between us like this.”

Dean stands up and looks everywhere but at you. “No, no. I get it.” He lets out a nervous laugh.

“I think it would just be best if we didn’t spend a whole lot of time together unless it’s like a case. At least until we find a cure. Alright?”

“Yeah,” He clears his throat and heads to the door. “I totally get it. You’re just overwhelmed and it’s a lot. I’m a lot,” he laughs a little again, dodging your eyes. “Um, goodnight Y/N.“ He shuts the door behind him.

You take a deep breath and set the now empty sandwich plate on the night stand beside you. That was not fun. But it had to be done. You love Dean too much to try anything or let him do anything while he was like this. You love him and as of right now, he thinks he loves you.

————————–

As much as you needed sleep, you certainly could not get any last night. All your thoughts became painful headaches causing you to toss and turn all night. Nonetheless, it didn’t wake you up when you heard another knock on your door. A little part of you wished it was Dean. It felt nice to be admired, especially by someone whom you loved so much.

“Hey,” Sam said as he opened the door and shut it behind him. “Can I?” He asks, signaling to sit down.

“Yeah, sure.” He takes a seat in your desk chair as you sit up in bed, trying to lessen the mess of your hair. “My apologies for not looking like my usually stunning self,” You say smiling.

Sam lets out a little laugh. “I don’t think there could be any time where you are not stunning,” he says, returning the smile. “I hope I didn’t wake you though.”

“No, course not. What’s up?”

“Well,” Sam takes a deep breath, “I wanted to see how you were doing.” You look at him confused as to why he would be worrying about you. “I know what time it is, Y/N.”

“What do you mean ‘what time it is’?”

“This is the month, right?” You shake your head still confused. “This is the week.”

“What are you saying?” You asked, nervous for his response.

“This is the time that you just back away from everything.” He says sincerely, with a soft tone.

You try to think of what he could possibly be talking about but you become determined to come up blank. “I have no clue what you’re talking about,” you repeat.

“Hey, listen, I’m not trying to pry or start anything up. I just wanted to make sure you were alright and let you know that I’m here. There is a lot going on with Dean and you right now and I know what time it is, Y/N. This is the month, the week, that you always seem to be out of it. It’s been happening every year since I’ve known you, since we’ve known you. I don’t know why or what it is. All I know is that you run away during this time.”

“Run away?!” You say defensively. You knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Take it easy!” Sam raises his hands. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, Y/N. I love you and I know you’ve got a lot on your plate.”

“Yeah, you don’t know anything,” you say harshly, rolling your eyes.

Sam stands up and shakes his head. “You’re right. I’m just gonna go.” He walks towards the door. “Sorry, Y/N. And good morning,” Sam says, letting out a sigh as he shuts the door behind him.

“Great,” you say to yourself. “Another great start to another great day.” You fall back into bed, begging for this to all be over. What Sam was talking about was the same thing that you have been trying to hide and bury for years. You didn’t want to be rude to him. In fact, you really just wanted to hug him and cry on him. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t let yourself deal with the truth that has been haunting you for years. You would however, let yourself brush your teeth in order to get rid of the filthy taste of peanut butter and jelly that had been left in your mouth.

——————-

As you walked down the hallway, buttoning the last buttons on your flannel, you smelled something amazing. It smelled so good. You navigated the halls trying to find the sweet source of the sensation. You could smell it as you got closer and closer and closer.

“Oh. My. God,” you said, stopping in your tracks.

“Surprise!” Dean said as he put his arms up, showcasing the galore of breakfast before you.

“What the holy hell is all this?” You say in complete shock of the sight before you that is filling the kitchen.

“It’s breakfast. A lot of breakfast,” Dean says as he pulls you and sits you down in a chair. “I wanted you to have a decent meal for breakfast so I made a–”

“All the breakfast food ever?” You cut him off with your jaw hung open.

“No. I wanted to but I don’t have access to it all. So instead I just made: pancakes, waffles, crepes, breakfast burritos, eggs, scrambled and omelet, bacon, chicken and waffles, croissants, donuts, muffins, grits, oatmeal, ham and eggs, hash browns, pop tarts, raisin bread, Texas toast, and a breakfast casserole. Oh! And I got your favorite cereal. I hope you can find something you like. If not I can go run and get it.”

You still try to comprehend the buffet in front of you.

“Y/N? Are you alright? Did I do good? I also have a bunch of different juices too.”

“Yeah,” you say as your voice cracks. “Um,” you clear your throat, “Yeah, you did good. Really, really good.” You break out of your food trance and look at Dean who looks just like a happy little puppy. “When did you have time to do all of this?”

“He did it last night,” Cas says as he walks in the kitchen and takes a seat beside you. “He had me keep warming the food by lightly smiting it.”

“What?” You say, even more in shock.

“What?” Sam says as he walks in the kitchen. “Oh, yeah. All this,” He waves his hand pointing to the galore of dishes. “You know he wouldn’t let me have anything until you had what you wanted.”

“Well, of course,” Dean says defensively. “I made it for her, not you.”

“Thank you, Dean,” you say as you continue to stare at all the food. “But, I think that it would be best if Sam would help me eat this.”

“Oh,” Dean says. “Whatever you want.” He smiles at you.

“Finally,” Sam says as he takes a plate, picking through what he wants then sits across from Cas.

“Have you eaten any of this, Dean?” You ask.

“No! I didn’t want to take any away from you,” he answers.

“Well, sit down and eat something.”

“Really?!” He asks and you nod. Dean fills his plate with waffles and bacon and grits and so many other things. You fill up yours with a small serving from a little of everything. Dean sits down across from you and digs into his plate. This felt right. This felt like home. Castiel on your side, Sam in front on your right, and Dean in front of you. This is your family and they are what keep you together.

———————-

“So you didn’t get anything either?” Sam asks you about finding a solution to the spell.

“Nope. Cas, what about you? Anything?” You respond.

“No. I did not find anything on how to reverse or even begin to understand the spell,” Cas answers. “What about you, Dean?” He asks as Dean finishes the last of his breakfast.

“What? No. No. I uh, did not find anything. Nada, zilch, nothing, negative, no siree,” he says with a nervous laugh.

“Okay?” You reply suspiciously. “So what now?”

“I uh,” Dean speaks up again, “I found us a case.”

“You did?” Sam asks.

“Yep, and it’s only about two hours away,” Dean answers with a smile. “See?” He looks at you. “Now we can work the case together. If that’s okay?”

“Yeah,” you answer, realizing that he found a loophole to your distancing request. “If it’s a case then I guess It’s okay.”

“What did you find out about the case?” Cas asks.

“Well, It’s a cursed object. A painting to be exact,” Dean answers.

“Like the one that we dealt with a couple years back? With Sarah?” Sam asks.

“No. I don’t think this one comes to life like that one, but I do know that death has followed that thing around everywhere it goes.”

“Fun,” you say.

“How is that fun?” Castiel asks, confused.

“Never mind,” You reply. “Where is it now?”

“It’s being showcased tonight at an art gala,” Dean responds with a smile.

“So what, we crash some art gala? How?” You ask.

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ve got an invitation.”

“How did you get an invitation to an art gala?” Sam asks, taking your thoughts.

“I just had some time.” Dean smiles and scrapes the remainder of his food into his mouth. “Tonight, we are going to a gala.”

——————

The four of you had taken a trip into town so you could find the right apparel for the evening. The truth is, the boys had plenty of suits and you had plenty of dresses but none of you had anything to wear to a gala. It had been a long time since any of you had to wear something more fancy than a cheap suit. Dresses weren’t your favorite but you did like getting dressed up on occasion. Living with three grown men didn’t help but make you feel as if living in a pigsty. Sam was good at keeping clean and Cas didn’t really do anything. Dean was mainly the one who left messes. Actually, it was just Dean who made it seem like a pigsty. It was all Dean.

“So, me and Dean need to get some tuxes. And you need to get a dress,” Sam said as you all got out of the car. “And what about you, Cas?”

“I don’t think I’ll need a tux if I’m just on lookout,” Castiel answers. “I think what I’m wearing should be sufficient enough.”

“Minus the trench coat and lose the tie. Sure,” Sam says, nodding his head.

“So what are you gonna do?” Dean asks Cas. “You wanna wait in the car?”

“He can come with me,” You say. “I’ll probably need help getting in the dress.”

“Well I can help with that!” Dean says eagerly as he walks over to you.

“Come on, Dean,” Sam says as he pulls Dean back towards him. “Meet back here in the diner in an hour or so?”

“Sure,” you reply as you and Cas walk in one direction and the brothers walk in the other. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t forget I love you, Y/N!” Dean yells from across the street.

“Dude!” Sam says as he turns Dean back around.

“So much!”

——————–

“How about this one?” Castiel points to a wedding dress.

“Cas, that is a wedding dress. And I don’t intend on wearing one of those for a while,” you reply.

You had been in the dress shop for about ten minutes trying to find something that fit and didn’t look like it only cost sixty bucks. Not many places in town have high class dress wear. And right now, you and Cas were at a place that was the next best thing.

“What about this one?” He points to a dress that is all straps and holes.

“Okay, how about you just take a seat and I’ll come get you when I need you?” You say smiling at Cas’s taste in dresses.

“Fine.” Cas takes a seat and starts to play with some sequins on a strapless dress.

——————-

“Psst!” You whisper as Cas turns his head around. “Cas!” He continues to look around. You wave your hand around from behind the dressing room curtain trying to use the other to make sure no one sees anything you don’t want them to. “Castiel!” He looks at you, puts down the sequin dress and walks into the dressing room with you.

“What is it?” He asks, examining you almost to see if you’re hurt.

“I need some help,” you say as you hold up the front of your dress.

“What’s wrong?”

You let out a little laugh. “Nothing, I just need you to zip me up. Please.”

“Oh, I understand.” You pull your hair back and Cas zips up the back of the dress and buttons the top button.

You turn around towards Cas and take a few steps back. “How does it look?”

“Is there supposed to be a chunk missing from the back? Won’t you get cold?” Cas asks so innocently.

You give him a smile. “Yes, it is supposed to be like this. It is a red, backless, mermaid dress with a short train and a low cut in the front. And yes, I will get very cold but beauty is pain.”

You both went up to the register and purchased the dress. You left the shop and had about a half hour until you had to meet back up.

“What would you like to do now?” Cas asks you.

“We need to get some heels.”

“I thought high heels were extremely uncomfortable for women?”

“Yes but like I said before, beauty is pain,” you smile and the two of you walk to a shoe store so you can purchase some foot killers.

——————

You and Cas got done with your shopping early and went on ahead back to the diner where you were supposed to meet the boys. Cas had ordered a single glass of water and you ordered some French fries as a little snack before this evening.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did, Cas.”

“That wasn’t what I wanted to ask.”

“Just go for it, Cas.”

“How are you feeling, Y/N?”

“I’m pretty good. Shopping makes me hungry though.”

“I mean, how are you doing mentally? Not physically.”

“Like I said, pretty good. Does something make you think otherwise?”

“Yes. I’ve noticed that around this time every year, you seem to be dealing with unresolved issues that you refuse to talk to anyone about.”

“Really, Cas? First Sam now you. I’m fine, alright?” You answer, starting to scold him as Sam and Dean walk in and over to you. “You hear that guys?” You ask the brothers. “I am perfectly fine and the next person to ask me if I’m fine will not be fine by the time I’m done with them. Got it?!” You get up from the booth and storm off to the car, leaving the boys inside.

“Cas, what the hell did you say to her?” Sam asks.

“I asked about the unresolved issues that she refuses to talk about with anyone that she seems to deal with around this time every year. That’s all,” Cas replies.

“That’s all?” Sam laughs. “Dude, Y/N has literally never, ever talked about it before and I already tried this morning. I have a feeling neither one of us is gonna be able to get her to open up.”

“You’re most likely right.”

“Yes, I am. So no one asks her about it, alright?” Sam orders. Cas nods but Dean looks off towards you outside. “Alright, Dean?”

“Yeah, yeah. Totally. Do not ask her no matter how much she is struggling. Or no matter how much she is hurting. I can totally not do that. Yeah. I can do that.” Dean continues to stare out at you, struggling to even attempt to abide by his own words even in thought.


	5. Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a song included in it called "She's a Lady" originally performed by Tom Jones. All rights for the song go to him so I hope you enjoy.

“Yes, I am. So no one asks her about it, alright?” Sam orders. Cas nods but Dean looks off towards you outside. “Alright, Dean?”

“Yeah, yeah. Totally. Do not ask her no matter how much she is struggling. Or no matter how much she is hurting. I can totally not do that. Yeah. I can do that.” Dean continues to stare out at you, struggling to even attempt to abide by his own words even in thought.

———————-

You four had just got back to the bunker from shopping fun-time and were discussing your game plan in the Library. Dean explained how his invitation was for you instead of him. Actually, it was for a Lily Grace from the small and exclusive art gallery off the southeast coast. He managed to get you two plus ones which is where the brothers came in.

“So, I will be your date,” Dean says with a smile.

“I’ll also be there,” Sam adds.

“Yes, I, and Sam, will be your date.”

“Escorts actually,” Sam again adds.

“Well, you’re more of an escort whereas I could easily be classified as a date,” Dean says with a smirk towards Sam. 

“Dude, you’re not her date!”

“Am too!”

“You are not!”

“Am t–”

“Boys,” you shout, “as much as I love the fighting over who gets to be my boy toy for the evening, we have a more important issue at hand. Okay?” Sam and Dean nod. “Good. Now Cas, what’s your job?”

“My job is to keep the guards at bay while also being a lookout,” Cas answers.

“Great.”

“We go in there,” Sam says going over the plan. “Mingle till we see our shot. Then grab the painting before it gets put on display. Get Cas to smite it. Be home before dinner.”

“Easy,” Dean says.

“Yeah, easy peasey,” you add.

———————-

“Come on, Y/N!” Sam shouts from outside your room door.

“Give me a minute,” you reply as you finish fixing the last bit of your hair. You stare in the mirror for a moment.

Red lips. Light blush. A natural looking smoky eye topped with long and dark lashes. A natural hairstyle that is loose but looks placed. Cheap but expensive looking silver dangling earrings. It goes with the red cheap but expensive looking dress that you just bought. A low cut with small straps on your shoulders going all the way down to meet at the very bottom of your back. Back-less. Castiel had helped you with the small zipper and button that you were unable to reach, again. The dress was tight around your chest and waist until it came to the bottom of your legs where it started to become loose like a mermaid’s tail. The short train on the end wasn’t too in the way. It was perfect with your red strappy heels and freshly painted red toenails. It was tight and uncomfortable and it hurt like hell, but hey, hell is a regular destination around here.

“Is everything alright in there?” Dean asks, concerned. “Do you want me to come in? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! I’m fine,” you answer, quick to stop his worry.

“We’re heading to the car,” Sam shouts again.

“But what if she’s hurt in there?” Dean whispers.

Sam grabs Dean by the shoulder of his tux and walks towards the garage. “Come on.”

“We will meet you in the car, Y/N,” Cas says.

You take a deep breath and look in the mirror one last time. Their steps fade away. It’s stupid to think of what you’re thinking. Thinking about how this high class social status and elegant party routine could actually be your life. It was a small dream. Not even a believable one. A good dream nonetheless. Better than the dreams and thoughts you’ve been having lately. The ones that haunt and hurt you. The ones that make a shovel useless. Never able to bury. Never able to push away. Never.

——————–

“What’s taking her so long? She could be hurt!” Dean says, again trying to open the car door which Sam keeps reaching over to shut.

“She’s fine!” Sam replies. “Cas, tell Dean she’s fine!” The boys look over the seat at Cas.

“Yes,” Cas answers. “But there also is a small possibility that she is hurt.”

“Oh, come on!” Sam says.

Dean opens his car door and steps out. “I told you!”

“Stop Dean,” Sam also steps out of the car, “She’s fine!”

“No! She–”

Dean stops mid sentence as his eyes land on you.

“She’s gorgeous…” He finishes his sentence. Dean and Sam both stare at you in shock and awe. Both inspecting every square inch of you. Dean only doing so with more intensely.

“What?” You ask worried based on their expressions. “What is it? Do I look alright?”

“You look…” Sam starts to say.

“…Perfect,” Dean continues.

You smile a little knowing that the boys are in admiration of your appearance. “Good. I was worried I didn’t look good.”

“What?!” Sam’s voice cracks. “I mean,” he clears his throat, “You look great. You look great.”

“You, you, you, you, you, yo–” Dean says entranced before you cut him off.

“Dean?” You snap your red tipped fingers.

“You look better than great. Be–Better than perfect. You are just so much… you. And it’s beautiful. The greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s amazing. I love it. I love everything about it, and you. I love you,” Dean says, practically spitting out his thoughts. “I love you so much, Y/N. You–You are marvelous. Fantastic.” Dean steps close to you, slowly, as he looks into your eyes and reaches for your hand. “Magnificent. Sparkling. A blessing.” Dean takes your hand in his. “Marry me, Y/N.”

“What?” You say as you snap out of your own trance.

“What?!” Sam says, almost jealous.

“What,” You hear Cas say from Baby’s backseat.

“Marry me,” Dean says again, leaving you with even more chaotic thoughts in your mind.

Marry Dean. Marry Dean Winchester. Dean just asked you to marry him. Dean, just asked you, to marry him. What? What the actual hell. What the hell?!

_Smack_

“No!” You shout as you take back your hand from the side of Dean’s face. “I’m not gonna marry you! Are you crazy?! Why the hell would you ask me that?! And to ask me like this?! No! Just no.” You walk over to the car leaving Dean feeling his face as it turns red.

“Here,” Sam says as he opens the car door for you.

“Allow me,” Dean says, pushing Sam away from the door so he can be the one to open it. You get inside making sure to do a visible eye roll as you do so.

“Did Dean just ask for your hand in marriage?” Cas asks as you adjust your dress in the seat.

“Attempted to!” You say, still in shock. “You look nice by the way,” You tell Cas as your tone shifts to a more neutral one.

“Thank you,” He responds. Cas looks nice and the boys do too. The brothers have their tuxedos and bow ties while Cas has settled for a more relaxed, unbutton collar, suit, look. As the brothers get in the car, you notice how they even shaved. It’s been a very long time since either one of them were sporting the stubble-less look.

“That hurt you know?” Dean says, looking back at you.

“Well, you asked me to marry you so you should’ve expected a slap!” You retort.

“I mean it hurt my heart,” Dean says with a saddened tone. “But, it’s okay, Y/N. I forgive you,” He says smiling back at you.

“Oh, shut up,” Sam says as he hits Dean.

“You shut up!” Dean says slapping Sam back.

They start hitting each other and requesting that the other “shut up.”

_Smack_

“Ow!” Sam says as he touches the top of his head where you had slapped him hard. “What’d you do that for?!”

“I did it so you’d, both, shut up and start the car!” You answer.

“But why’d you have to hit me?!”

“I already hit Dean,” you say with a mischievous smile.

“Right,” Dean says as he smiles at the amusement of his brother’s pain. He puts the key in the ignition but is hesitant to start it. He turns around to look at you then to Sam.

“What?” Sam asks, confused.

“I think you might have to drive,” Dean says softly.

“Why?”

“Cause… cause… cause she’s too distracting?” He answers nervously as he looks at you.

“Really?” Sam asks sternly before snatching the keys out of Dean’s hands.

——————-

You had arrived. Walking in the front entrance with two tall and handsome drinks of water on your sides sure drew a lot of attention. Good-looking Goliath on your right and Mr. Cute and Clingy on your left.

“Your name, miss?” The guard asked.

“Ms. Grace,” Sam answered.

“Her name is Ms. Lily Grace from the East Golden Art Gallery,” Dean clarified.

“I see,” the guard says. He very clearly checks you out and attempts to look down your dress. “Have a good evening, Ms. Grace,” he says with a flirtatious tone.

“Thank you,” you say, returning the flirt. “Mr. Handsome.” You smile and bat your eyes until the boys raise their arms causing you to lift a few inches off the ground and pull you away from him. They find a table and plop you back down in a chair. “What’s with the man-handling?!”

“Um, flirt much?” Dean says.

“What? I was just messing around,” you reply.

“He won’t think you’ll be messing around when you look like this,” Sam adds.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” You ask defensively.

“It means, when you look as gorgeous and jaw dropping as you do right now, he won’t care if it’s a joke or not!” Dean says angered.

“Okay! Okay! I got it. What’s with the level of concern here?”

“It’s just that you… you… you look really, really attractive right now, Y/N. And it’s really distracting and if I didn’t know you, then I would be attempting to hit on you right now,” Sam lets out.

“Whoa, did you get hit with a love spell too?” You sarcastically question which Sam replies with an eye roll and a huff.

“Y/N, the only reason why you aren’t getting hit on right now is cause me and Sam already gave every guy in here a clear cut message that you were with us and definitely unavailable!” Dean states.

“Yeah, so no flirting alright Y/N?” Sam says. They both stare at you waiting for an answer.

“Alright! Alright. Besides, we have to find that painting,” you answer.

—————–

The painting was traced back to the time during the Salem Witch Trials. It was a portrait of some farm and a big meadow. It was suggested that the painting got cursed because the witches’ death released a curse field around them which affected a painting in a nearby house. Somehow, the painting made its way here, to the art gala, and was being prepped to be sold to some unknowing victim. You had searched all over for it and found it nowhere.

“Find it?” Sam asked as he walked over to you.

“No. You?” You replied.

“No. Hey!” Sam called out quietly, getting Dean’s attention. “Did you find anything?”

“Nope. Nothing,” Dean answers, coming over to the huddle.

“Great. We’ve checked backstage, in the exhibit, in the halls, everywhere and yet it is nowhere,” you state.

“Wait,” Sam says, “not everywhere.” He walks through the dancing crowd in front of the stage and points towards the band. “There!”

“Crap,” you let out as you see that it is being displayed, on stage, in front of everyone.

“How are we gonna get that?” Dean asks.

“I don’t know!” Sam answers.

“It’s in front of literally everyone,” you add.

“Exactly, we’d need a distraction. And a big one at that.” Sam puts his face in his hands while you start making agitated fists.

“Oh!” Dean says as he gets really excited. “I’ve got it!” He runs away.

“What the hell was that?!” You ask.

“I don’t know!” Sam replies. “He said he’s got it.”

“Yeah, under the love spell Dean has got it,” you say sarcastically.

_**“Can I have your attention please?”** _

“Well where did he go then?” Sam asks.

_**“I would like to sing a song to a very special woman who is out here tonight.”** _

“I don’t know!” You say. Before you can say your next words, you notice the silence that has occupied the once really noisy room.

**_“This song is very special to me and it’s called…”_ **

You look up to where the crowd is facing. Up on the stage, stands Dean. Dean, who is holding a microphone and talking in it, in front of everyone. “Holy sh–”

_**“…She’s a Lady.”** _

“What?” Sam asks. You point to the stage where Dean is talking with the band.

“What’s he doing?!” You ask. The music starts up.

“He’s creating a distraction!” Sam says excitedly. He pats you on the back, gives you a quick smile, then runs off.

You stand alone as the lights go out, a spotlight falls on Dean and he points to you in the crowd.

_**“This one’s for you, Y/N.”** _

He smiles at you and lets out the last thing that you would ever expect to come from Dean Winchester’s mouth: a song.

_**Well she’s all you’d ever want, she’s the kind I’d like to flaunt and take to dinner.** _

What.

**_Well she always knows her place. She’s got style, she’s got grace, she’s a winner._ **

The.

**_She’s a lady. Whoa whoa whoa, she’s a lady. Talkin’ about that little lady, and the lady is mine._ **

Hell.

Dean takes his mic from the stand and starts walking with it.

_**Well she’s never in the way always something nice to say, oh what a blessing.** _

He walks down several steps, coming off stage.

_**I can leave her on her own knowing she’s okay alone, and there’s no messing.** _

He slowly makes his way through the crowd.

_**She’s a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s a lady. Talkin’ about that little lady, and the lady is mine.** _

The groups of people part like the red sea as Dean target locks on to you, with a spotlight locked on him.

_**Well she never asks for very much and I don’t refuse her. Always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her. What she’s got is hard to find, and I don’t want to lose her. Help me build a mountain from a little pile of clay. Hey, hey, hey.** _

The spotlight is now on you, with a circle of people gathered around you and Dean on the dance floor.

_**Well she knows what I’m about, she can take what I dish out, and that’s not easy.** _

You try to turn away from Dean but the crowd refuses to let you look away from the glorious voice.

_**Well she knows me through and through, and she knows just what to do, and how to please me.** _

Dean was now right up close to you. Your heart was racing. Your face was melting. Your cheeks were blushing.

**_She’s a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s a lady._ **

Dean put his hand around your waist. Pulling you close and tight as he serenaded you.

**_Talkin’ about that little lady, and the lady is mine._ **

He took your hand and spun you outwards, only to pull you back into his capture.

**_Yeah yeah she’s a lady._ **

You two were now caught up in dancing, and swinging, and twirling back and forth all while he was singing.

**_Whoa, whoa, whoa she’s a lady._ **

You kept looking into his eyes as his voice kept going.

_**Listen to me people, She’s a lady.** _

It was beautiful.

**_Yeah, yeah, yeah, she’s a lady._ **

You’ve never felt like this before.

**_Whoa, whoa, whoa, she’s a lady._ **

You’ve never felt truly…

**_Talkin about this little lady._ **

…extremely…

**_Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. She’s a lady._ **

…extraordinarily…

**_Yeah, yeah, yeah, she’s a lady. Oh, woah, Lord, she’s a lady. I can’t live without that little lady. She’s a lady._ **

…in love.

Claps and cheers filled up the building. You didn’t even realize that Dean was holding you in his arms. He let go of you as you both nodded and smiled in agreement with the cheers. You then ducked through the crowd and rushed outside where Cas had been on lookout.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” You scream at him causing him to jump back.

“Woah! Calm down! Calm down!” Dean insists.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Cas asks frantically.

“Tom Jones here just sang his heart out to me in front of everyone! Everyone in the entire building!” You yell.

“That was you?” Cas questions.

“Well I’m no Tom Jones,” Dean says with a smile.

“Why did you do that?” You start grilling him. “Why would you embarrass me like that in front of everyone? Why did you have to do that? Why now? Huh? Why is it that crap like this always happens? Why can’t my life just be normal for once?! Why couldn’t I just have been normal?! Why couldn’t I have stopped it?!” You start to spiral out of control, trying to hold back tears. You fall backwards but Dean and Cas catch you.

“Are you alright?” Dean asks as he props you back up, noticing your watery eyes.

“I’m fine!” You blurt out. “Why’d you do all of that though?”

“He did it,” Sam says as he runs up and joins the party, “so I could grab this.” Sam holds up the painting that he pulled from his tux. “Ta-da!”

“Good,” Cas says. He looks to the ground almost affected by the turn of events that just took place.

Sam looks at nervous Cas, shaken Dean, and teary eyed you. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” you reply quickly. You march towards the car and get in, officially starting the time.

The time where you distance yourself. The time every year where you run and hide. Where you go into a short hibernation, refusing to talk to anyone or leave your room. The time that you hate most in your life. The worst time. And that time begins, now.

——————–

It had been three days since you yelled at Dean mainly about the whole singing thing. You kept quiet on the car ride home. Even pretended to sleep as if you were trying to fool your mom. Your mom. Mom. Since then, you haven’t really talked to anyone. You used to go to the kitchen the first two days until you realized that they had hid the food in order for you to confront one of them in order to ask where it was. It has been several hours since you’ve eaten. The only time that you talked to someone now was when Cas would wait in the room beside the bathrooms and say “hello” to you which you always ignored. You used to hide your hibernation period from the boys but there wasn’t any point any more. They all knew that you were in a dark place. But none of them even know how truly darker than dim it is.

——————–

Five days since you last sat in the impala. By now, the boys took turns placing food outside your door trying to make sure you were still alive and weren’t starving. You would hear them outside, whispering to each other, trying to determine your status. Currently, your status was at its peak of horrible. You couldn’t think about anything else other than what you have continued trying to bury for so long. So long you have held this in. So long you’ve wanted to let it out. So long you’ve told yourself you couldn’t.

_Knock. Knock._

“Y/N?” Dean called from outside your room door. “I’ve got some PB&J for a late night snack. I figured you were still up. Are you still up?”

Dean seemed to be taking your absence the hardest. It was due to the love spell causing him to want to see you and be with you. He had gotten the spell under control so long as you at least said a word to him a day. You found that out after Sam had said Dean tried to kill him again for who knows what.

“Yeah,” you answered.

“Yes! Right. You’re good. You’re still up. So, um, do you want the sandwich?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Cause Sam and Cas said that you haven’t eaten anything today and were worried th–”

“I’m fine!”

“Right. O–Okay. I got it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You hear Dean set the plate outside your room and scamper off.

—————

Only about five minutes later did you hear a noise coming from outside. It became louder and louder and unbearable. You went over to the door to hear what was happening on the other side. Whatever it was, it was unintelligible. You figured there was no harm in opening the door to see what it was and yell at it. You opened the door.

_Thump_

“Ow,” Dean said as he fell backwards from leaning up against the door. You just rolled your eyes and sat back on the ground, picking up a book that you have failed at reading. “Right.” Dean stands up. “I’m gonna guess that you don’t want me in here?”

“Leave.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course,” Dean smiles and heads for the door. “But how abo–”

“Now.”

“Right. Will do. You got it.” Dean starts to close the door behind him. “You know what?”

“No. I don’t know. So how about you don’t tell me but you do leave.”

“No.”

“What was that?”

“I said no,” Dean struggles to smile.

“Dean, get out of my damn room, right now!”

“No! You can tell me to go all you want but you know I’m more stubborn than you. So, no. I think I’ll be staying.” Dean shuts the room door, putting just you and him in your bedroom.

“Dean,” you try to say sternly but your voice wearies, “get,” tears start to fall down, “out,” your voice breaks. “Please,” you say, almost begging for help rather than insisting him to leave.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Dean says as he gets on the floor facing you as you start to erupt.

“I–I–I can’t!” You start to sob causing you to bring your knees to your chest for some protection and defense.

“Hey, It’s okay! It’s okay.” Dean moves closer to you and wraps his arms around you. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” He sits beside you on the floor with his arms wrapped around you. He gently strokes your head and hair as he keeps trying to calm you down.

“I–I can’t! I can’t!” you keep repeating, unable to form words.

“I know, I know. It’s okay.” Dean continues holding you and he squeezes you tighter into his embrace. He starts to rock you ever so slightly back and forth as he moves you closer and closer to him.

You continue to sob as your legs spread out, away from your chest, and on your chest was Dean arms, wrapped tight. It felt safe and you felt comforted, but still not okay.

After about five minutes, the sobbing finally ceased. Dean still continued to try and calm you down. Rocking you back and forth, holding you, reassuring that you were okay, trying to keep you quiet and calm. He just continued to hold onto you as if nothing could make him let you go. But yet, he managed to make you let go.

“I–I’m sorry,” you say with your voice breaking while sniffing.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have to be sorry. Everything’s alright. I’m right here. Nothing bad’s gonna happen to you.” He brushes your stuck to face hair behind your ears. You can barely see through your teary eyes but you do see Dean’s own watery eyes. You continue to let more time slip by before you speak again.

“Dean?” You gather your strength in order to get out the next part.

“Yeah, Y/N? I’m right here.”

“The bad,” you take a deep breath, “something bad has already happened and I… I couldn’t stop it. It was all my fault. It was all my fault.” More tears come down your face as you try and burrow yourself into Dean even more. He continues to hold you and remain as steady as a rock.

“Y/N,” he says softly, “what do you mean? Talk to me. Please.”

“I–I ca,” before you can refuse, it comes out. It all comes pouring out. Everything. “Before I joined you and Sam. Before you found me, I was alone. But before I was alone, I was with my family. My parents were hunters. They raised me to be a hunter. We fought and killed every stupid son of a bitch that decided to get in our sights. It was so nice. It was my family. Then one day, on a hunt, my mom… my mom… m–”

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“My, uh, mom, she got killed and she didn’t come back. She died, saving me and she never came back. I remember watching her bleed out as I just stood there, frozen. I did nothing as she died, choking on her own blood. I can’t even remember what it was like to have a mom, to have her. All I remember is what she told me. She made me promise to take care of my dad. To back him up. And I did, for a while. It was so hard after my… my mo–after what happened, I couldn’t do it anymore. I broke my promise and it broke my dad. I ran off and as far away as I could get. I thought I was fine, I thought he–he was fine.”

“It’s okay. I’m right here.”

“Um, I read the newspaper and I found out that he had died. On a hunt. Alone. With no backup. And so I ran even further. I changed my name. I changed everything. I wanted to be dead. It should’ve been me. And, it’s all… it’s all… it’s all my fault!”

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

“But it’s not! I could’ve helped! I could’ve saved my mother! I could’ve saved my father! I could’ve saved all those people who had died just because I didn’t kill the monster because I was scared! I was scared and stupid. And selfish. I should be dead! Not them. It should be me!”

“No. No it shouldn’t have been you. It’s not your fault, Y/N. It’s not.”

“How can you say that?! How can you even believe that?!”

“Because I have to believe it too.”

“What?”

“My dad gave up his life for me. He traded his soul for my own. I used to hate myself. I used to want to die but then I realized, he did that so I wouldn’t die. And regrets? It’s a list longer than Santa’s. I tortured souls in hell. I even started the apocalypse, a couple times.”

“By accident.”

“Yeah but, exactly. I have a circle of death around me. You step inside, you die. Everyone that I have ever loved or who has meant something to me has died. Except you. Cas and Sam have both died before. Several times. But not you. I won’t let you. I love you too much. And I promise you, your parents don’t blame you. They love you and they are proud of you and they are happy just thinking about how amazing you are. Their minds can’t even comprehend the level of awesomeness that you have. You’re amazing.”

“You think so?” You ask, starting to smile.

“I know so,” Dean says, smiling back. He moves your neck closer to his and leans in for a kiss.

This was perfect. You had let go. Dean had finally let go. It was amazing. It was everything that you had ever wanted. It felt so good. Dean’s lips against yours. It was love. It was happiness. It–wasn’t real.

You sat up quickly, causing yourself a bad headrush. You stood up, backing away from Dean. He too had stood up just as quick, frightened.

“What?!” He asks, confused and worried. “What, what is it?! Are you okay?! Was it me? Did I do something?”

“No!” you start to form tears again. “No! This–This isn’t right! This isn’t fair!” You push Dean away while wiping the tears from your face.

“What? What isn’t fair? Y/N, talk to me!” Dean says.

“Talk to you?! This isn’t even the real you Dean! I’ve been so caught up in my own problems that I haven’t even realized that the real you is still in there, hating all of this!”

“What?! What are you even saying?! I’m me!”

“No, you’re not! Dean would never do anything like this with me! You–you were given some magical roofie and I’m taking advantage! That isn’t fair!” You yell as you open your door, running down the halls, unable to see.

“Y/N!” Sam calls from behind you. Sam sees Dean chasing after you and stops him from running. “What happened?!” Sam says with a very rare type of aggression.

“I–I don’t–I do–” Dean mutters out.

“Stay!” Sam orders Dean.

—————–

You tried to find the keys to the impala but couldn’t see anything.

“Dammit!” You yell in frustration.

“Hey! Y/N! What happened?!” Sam says as he comes over trying to calm you down. He puts his arms on your shoulder trying to steady you but you hit them off.

“No! Just no! I just want the keys so I can go!” You slam your hands down on the hood.

“I’ve got the keys, Y/N,” Sam says as he pulls them out of his pocket.

“Give them to me!” You yell as you try to snatch them from his hands.

“No,” Sam says as he holds them out from your reach. “You’re in no condition to drive.”

“Fine!” You say as you wipe the snot and tears from your face. You open the car’s door and go under the steering wheel.

“What are you doing?” Sam asks with an annoyed tone.

“I’m hotwiring the car since you won’t give me the keys,” you answer as you attempt to see which wire is which.

Sam lets out a sigh then gets in the car. “Scooch.”

“What?” You ask confused as you scoot over to the passenger side.

“I said you were in no condition to drive. Me on the other hand,” Sam shuts the door and starts the engine, “I’m a little stressed and majorly confused but other than that, I’d say pretty good condition.”

——————

It had been a seemingly long car ride from the bunker to some cheap motel. You both remained silent the entire time. Sam seemed too afraid to poke the bear and you were just unable to talk at all. You had arrived at the motel and were waiting in the car till Sam came back with a room key.

He signaled for you to come over to a room. “So this is your room,” he said as he opened the door. You ran inside and took off your wet layers that became soaked from the rain. “I paid for three night upfront. Me or Cas should swing by later with some of your clothes and stuff. Okay?”

You go back towards the door.

_Slam_


	6. Up Around the Bend

He signaled for you to come over to a room. “So this is your room,” he said as he opened the door. You ran inside and took off your wet layers that became soaked from the rain. “I paid for three nights upfront. Me or Cas should swing by later with some of your clothes and stuff. Okay?”

You go back towards the door.

_Slam_

———————

Crying. Sobbing. Screaming. Terror.

“Help!”

“Help us, please!”

“I just want to go home!”

“Help me! Save me! Please!”

The cries and pleas for help continue. It sends shivers down your spine and makes you feel as if you too were in just as much anguish and pain. The lights kept flashing on and off. All your senses were distorted. All you heard were screams, all you saw was abrupt streaks, and the smell… The smell was the worst part. It smelled rotten, nasty, filthy. Burning flesh, bones smothered with flames. It was hell. Hell on earth. The underground basement was so wide and vast, the echoes of the screams only made it more difficult to navigate.

“Mom,” you struggled to say with the heat and lack of water taking all the moisture from your throat. “Mo–Mom.” You continued to croak. You kept going through the halls, passing by all the cages filled with children. Cages that could’ve just as easily had you in. “Mom!” You try to shout, but instead only hearing the raspy affects.

“Y/N?!”

You look up to see her there. Your mom. She was covered in blood from head to toe. She reached out to you as you fell into her arms. “Momma!” You started to revitalize the idle tears that had been streaming down your face.

“I’m here, baby. I’m right here!” She says while lifting your head up to see the darkened under eyes and pale complexion. She managed to wipe some of the dried blood from your face before she put you back into her comforting embrace. “I’m right here, baby.”

“Where–where’s dad?” You muster out, sending a shocked look your mother’s way.

“He–He’s not here?! With you?!” You shake your head no in reply. “Okay,” she says trying to remain calm. “Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen: baby, you go and you break everyone out of here. Once you do, you go with them and take them far, far away from here, okay?”

“But, what are you gonna do? I can’t leave you and dad?”

“Yes you are, Y/N! You leave and you run and you keep going! Don’t stop and don’t come back. I’m gonna create a distraction to keep the witch busy. Then I’m gonna find your father and everything will be alright. Okay, baby? Can you do that for me?” She nods yes to your nodding no.

“No! Momma, I can’t leave you!” You cry out.

“Yes, you can. You will. And then tomorrow, we will go out for a snow cone like we always do for your birthday. Okay? It’s okay.”

“No, mom,” you keep saying.

“Yes. And look at this,” she pulls out a silver dagger, “here’s an early birthday present. Okay? Happy early sweet 17 Baby!” She pulls you in for another hug. She remains strong even as the world seemingly falls apart. “I love you, baby!” She says as she pulls away.

Lights flash. People scream. She’s gone.

–

After getting all the kids from the cages and taking them outside and down the street, you looked back at the witch’s house. Your mother, your father, your life was still inside. And quickly, you too were inside.

–

You walked up from the basement, into the living room. You knew you were going against your mother’s words, but you didn’t care. You needed to save them. You had to help them. You stood behind a big china cabinet in the dining room, watching as the witch had your parents pinned to the wall.

“This is what happens, you imbeciles, when you screw with me!” The witch shouted. “You die!” She started to choke your parents with just the formation of her hand.

“No!” You shouted as you leaped from behind your shield. “Let them go!” You ordered as you aimed your gun at the witches head.

“Oh, honey,” the witch says with a smile. “That was real stupid.” She lets your parents fall down and then she grabs a knife, turning her attention towards you.

_Thud_

“No!” You scream out as you go to your mother. Your father raced after the witch but you stood by your mother’s side. In shock. In peril. “No. No. No,” you say as tears start to form. This was all your fault. If you would’ve just stayed outside and listened to your mother, your now dying mother. Your mother who is bleeding out all over the floor from a knife to her heart. The same mother who jumped in front of you, is now choking on her own blood.

“Pr–Promise me..” She says as the blood overflows her mouth. “Take care of your father–take care–I love…” And with that, her last dying breath, she made you promise to take care of your father. A promise that you so stupidly and selfishly broke. Only two years later did you leave your loving dad. Only three years after that did your dad die, only two days after your own mother’s death anniversary. You left, they died. You tried, they died. No matter what you do, they still die. You killed them. It is all your fault. All of it is on you. All those lives and their blood are on your hands.

——————

“Ah! Ah! No! Ah!” The screeches sounded worse than the sirens.

“Y/N!”

“Ah! Ah!”

“Y/N!”

“No! Ah! Ahh!”

“Y/N, wake up!”

“No!” You said as you shot up from the bed. Sam had his arms shaking you so that you could awake from your nightmare of memories.

“Hey! It’s okay!” Sam says as your heart beats faster and faster. He puts you into an embrace holding you tight and close as he rubs your back. “It’s okay.”

“No!” You say as your voice cracks.

“It’s okay. Deep breaths, Y/N. Deep breaths. Shh. Shh.” Sam tries to help you calm down.

“No,” you say, still stuck in the nightmare.

“Cas, get some water!” Sam orders. “It’s okay. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” Sam pulls you away from him and props some pillows behind you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Here,” he says as he gives you some water.

You take a minute to stop the loud pounding in your chest. You notice the surroundings. It was Sam and Castiel in the motel room where they had last left you. The door looked as if it had been busted open while remaining on slightly damaged hinges.

You take a deep breath as Sam and Cas look at you while sitting on the bed. “What happened?” You say as you clear your throat.

“We didn’t hear from you yesterday,” Cas says. He was right. It had been three days since you found a new residence in this motel and you tried to send a text or a call every day. Yesterday, you just didn’t.

“Yeah, we figured we’d come by to check in one you. We came and then we heard the screams,” Sam continues.

“Yes, I knocked down the door so that we could make sure you were alright. Are you alright? Did someone do this to you?” Cas asks. Always worried.

“Ha,” you laugh sarcastically. “I wish someone did this to me. That way, I could kill them.” You smile trying to lighten the mood and take another sip of water, trying to strengthen your hoarse voice.

“What is it then?” Cas asks again.

You chuckle. “Sam knows. It’s called night terrors.”

“I didn’t know that you had them, Y/N,” Sam replies with a sincere voice.

“Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, pal.”

“Actually, Dean told us what happened.”

“Right.”

“I’m sorry for what happened, Y/N,” Cas says. “I would’ve never asked how you were if I knew how you were.”

“It’s alright, Cas. I think that’s how the whole asking thing works.” You smile trying to change the tone of the situation.

“Y/N?” Sam asks.

“Yep?”

“Why,” Sam takes a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell us that? That’s insane to keep all of that to yourself.”

“It–It’s sad. It’s my fault and I didn’t want you guys to think less of me. I mean, you’ve already accepted me as a part of your family, one which I do not belong in.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. It wasn’t your fault and you are just as much a part of this family as me, Dean, and Cas are family.” Sam goes in for another hug. “We love you, Y/N. So much. I love you and you don’t have to hide anything.”

“He’s right,” Cas adds. “About everything. I think of Sam and Dean as brothers just as much as I think of you as a sister.” You wipe your eyes and smile.

“You don’t have to deal with that type of stuff alone. We are here for you, right now.” Sam smiles at you. You look to Cas and he is doing the same.

“Okay,” you let out as you straighten your position on the bed.

——————–

You told them everything. You let it all out. For the first time, in ten years, you finally opened the memory drawer and viewed it all. Your life as a hunter, your mother’s death, your leaving your father, your father’s death, and you finally running away. You ran away and then ran to the Winchesters. The three of them had saved your life. Again. And again. And now. The cheesy therapy session that you had between Sam and Cas actually helped. That part of your life has left a scar but there’s no need to keep picking at it. It’s in the past. You’re in the present. Time to look to the future.

——————-

It had been a month since you left the bunker. Two weeks since you left the crappy motel room and instead moved to one of Bobby’s old hunting cabins. And one week since you last saw one of the boys. Sam and Cas would check in everyday. Occasionally they would even visit to bring some supplies or just to see how you were. You had worked a case or two with Cas while Sam was off doing who knows what with Dean. You hadn’t talked to Dean since that night. The night that he kissed you and instead of continuing the kiss, you had run away. You were still worried that Dean might try something again so you thought it would be best if you weren’t in communication with him. Cas said that Dean had managed it all by drinking, sleeping, and refusing to eat all day. He said that Dean would go out on a hunt then right back into his bed. Heartbroken. Sam summarized. Wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t even talk.

Heartbroken. Which one of you really were?

As soon as you could find a cure, Dean’s status would just fade away. You had kept looking as did the rest of the gang, for a cure. It still bothered you every time you picked up a book to fix the situation that you didn’t really wanna fix. Your heart? Would the pain just fade away? Would it only hurt worse once Dean sees how you used him while he was under the spell? How you messed with him? Kissed him? It wasn’t drastic but it was you and Dean. Something that you have wanted for so long. You can even remember the day that you fell for him.

——————-

Three years ago. Chesterfield, Missouri. Damn Nazis.

“Hey, hey! We’re good,” Dean says trying to convince the little girl who had ended up in the crossfire. “Everything’s fine. Okay? Just stay right here.” The little girl nods as she goes under the desk. “Good girl.”

“Where are they?!” You ask, trying to search the classrooms for the kid that the Thule had taken.

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Dean says. He shoots two more guys as they walk into the art classroom with weapons aimed. “Uh, uh…. Hang on!” Dean rushes to a set of lockers.

“No!” A little boy cries out as Dean opens the door.

“Hey! Hey pal! It’s me,” Dean says warmly, trying to calm the child. “I need your help, kiddo.” The child nods his head. “Good. I need to know if there are any other exits in the school that you can think of. Any that aren’t the main or back entrance.”

“Um..” The kid thinks.

“Any places? Think real big for me.”

“The playground!”

“Playground! Great, where can we get to the playground?”

“In Mrs. Amber’s room in the east hall.” The kid nods in reassurance.

“Thanks, pal.” Dean shuts the locker again, keeping the boy safe and out of harm’s way.

“East hall?” You ask. Dean nods.

–

“Where are the hunters?” Thule member number one asks. “Find them! Now!” He yells, sending away his fellow idiotic psychopaths in arms. He goes over to the little child who is cowering in the corner. “Little girl? Do you know why we are here?”

“N–no,” she replies so scared.

“Well. You are a very important child my dear,” he says as he brushes her hair.

“I am?” She croaks out.

“Oh, yes my child. Very, very important.” He pats the top of her head and moves over to a globe. “See this?” He asks, pointing to Germany. 

“America?” She asks innocently.

He chuckles. “No. This is the great country called Germany. Not some putrid collection of simple-minded barbarians and their pig sties. This, right here, is your home little girl.” He smiles, terrifying the girl even more. “No, no, no my, Liebchen. Do not be scared. You are going to see your family.”

“No. I wanna stay. I want my momma!” She starts to break down crying again.

You hear the girls screams from the halls. You move closer to the source. Dean signals for you to take out the guards as he gets the girl. “One,” he mouths out, “two, three!”

You fight and take out the five guards that wanted a piece of you. Thankfully, they didn’t have a good grip on their guns as you were able to successfully kick them out of their hands. You knocked two of the guards out with a fist to the head. The other three all tried to go at you, as you did one groin punch to another.

_Pow_

“Ow,” you said as the shot hit your shoulder. You didn’t have time to think or cry. You snatched the gun of his hand and shot him, the two standing, and the two on the ground. You took your hand and placed it on the pain. Two inches to the right and you would’ve been done for.

“Y/N!” Dean yells as he sees the blood on your hand.

“Hey,” you say as you start to fall. Dean runs over to you, catching you right before you can hit the ground. “Did you get him?”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you okay?” Dean asks with a worried tone.

“I uh, got shot. Been better.” You smile.

Dean rolls his eyes as he can tell it isn’t serious. “Alright, slugger.” He lifts you up and he puts your arm around his shoulder as you head back to the classroom.

–

He sets you down at a desk as he starts to go over and gather all the children from their hiding spots.

You laugh a little in your head as you watched Dean take the hands of every boy and girl, escorting them outside. One after another, after another, until it was just you and him. He made sure every kid was out and away. Sam wouldn’t have done that. He would’ve just called the cops. Castiel wouldn’t have even thought to do it. He would be set on taking care of the bodies. But Dean, Dean made sure they were safe.

Dean had a gentle heart though his hard exterior may lead you to believe otherwise. Dean had always made you feel safe. It wasn’t that way with Cas or Sam. You trusted Dean. Even his gut feelings for things amazed you enough that you view it as fact. You knew Dean would be there to catch you. He always was. You always loved to pick on him and mess with him. Maybe it was because you couldn’t deal with the fact that he was pretty perfect. He was what you saw as being perfect. He could carry the world on his back while still making sure you, Sam, and Cas were okay. He went through it all and came out the other end. He never gave up. Never quit. It was him. It was always him.

–

Dean shut the car’s door and moved over to you in the seat. “Alright, lemme see.” He said as he pulled you close to him. 

“What about the bodies?” You asked as you backed away.

“Sam can take care of it. He hasn’t done anything else today,” he answers as he pulls you close again.

“I’m fine,” you say as you slide away again. Dean rolls his eyes and pulls you back in close to him.

“Let me see.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Well, if you’re fine then why won’t you let me see?”

You throw your head back and huff. “Fine.” You start to unbutton your flannel and strip down to your tank top. You show the wound to Dean. “There. I’m fine.” You start to pull on your shirt but Dean stops you.

“Would you quit it? Why won’t you let me help you?” Dean asks frustrated.

“Cause I don’t want your help if I can do it myself,” you answer.

“When are you gonna realize that you aren’t on your own anymore?” Dean pulls a first aid kit from under the seat. “And I know you can do it yourself but I’m here so you don’t have to.”

“I know I’m not on my own. I just don’t want to have to depend on you.” Dean wets the cloth with alcohol and places it on the wound. “Ow,” you wince.

“Well,” Dean dabs the spot and puts more alcohol on it. “Yes, you don’t have to depend on me but you also can. And I’d take advantage of that cause I die often.” He takes some gauze and wraps it around your shoulder. “You should enjoy me while you can, sweetheart,” he says with a smile.

You pull your shirt back on and button it up. “Yeah, quit dying, Winchester. It isn’t an achievement.”

“Right, but you’re just saying that cause you’re a death virgin,” he smirks.

“What?! Really? You’re gonna play that card?”

“Don’t worry. I don’t judge. In fact, I think it’s very pure of you,” he says with a chuckle.

“If you want me to die then I’ll go and get myself killed! You really want that?!” You say with a rising anger towards Dean’s snarky comments.

“No,” he says with a sincere tone. “I don’t want that, believe it or not.”

“Really?” You say, surprised with his shift in tone. “Why?”

“I’d uh, I’d miss you. You’re family and I’ve already lost so much. I don’t want to lose my best friend too.” He looks at you as he fiddles with his keys. “So don’t die. Don’t ever die. Don’t you dare cause if you do,” he looks at you with a stern face, “I’ll kill you.” He smiles as you roll your eyes.

———————

That’s when you feel in love with Dean Winchester.

After saving the kids and the moment in the car, you could tell that you had fallen head over heels for him. The last thing that you remember about that day was getting blackout drunk, and magically waking up in your bed the next morning. But you realized after your hangover that alcohol wasn’t gonna make those feelings go away.

Now, you just wish you could magically wake up from this dream. This nightmare. You hated being away from the boys, your family. Diving into cures for Dean’s ailment was a priority. You wish you could focus more. You wish you could want it more. Sure, you wanted the real Dean back but this Dean, this Dean made you feel good about yourself. This Dean looked at you like you wish he would. Dean meant so much to you and you wished you meant something to him too. You loved him. It wasn’t because of his looks or his intelligence. It wasn’t because his strength or his wit. It was his heart. His kind and loving and caring heart. The heart that sold his soul for his brother, forgave his best friend after he wronged him, and gave you redemption when you needed it.

You miss that heart.

You want that foolish heart back.

You are gonna get that heart back or die trying.

————————

_Bzz. Bzz._

You searched the room for your phone. You had the books scattered about the cabin and would trip over them every night and morning. It was all just one big blur. You would spend hours a day, if not the whole day, researching a cure to get Dean back. Anything and everything seemed to be a viable option.

_Bzz. Bzz._

“Hello?” You asked as you picked up the phone.

“Y/N?” Sam called.

“Hey, Sam! What’s up? How is he?” You take a seat on the couch.

“He’s uh, he, he’s the same,” Sam struggles to say.

“Right,” you sigh. “Heartbroken.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You did what you thought was best when you left. It’s not your fault that he’s like this.”

“Yeah, but it’s not not my fault either,” you try to explain.

“Do I miss my brother?” Sam says with a saddened tone. “Yeah, I do. But that’s why I called.” Sam pauses to take a breath. “I think we’ve got something.”

“What?” You ask.

“It’s time you come home, Y/N.”

—————–

“Y/N!” Sam shouts as he walks over to hug you.

“Sam!” You wrap your arms around him.

“I’ve missed you, Y/N. I’m happy you’re home.” He smiles.

“Me too and well, me too,” you say with a laugh. “Is Cas here?”

“No, he had to do something with Heaven.”

“And you let him go?! You know they want to kill him right?!”

“Yes! Yes. I know but he said he had to.”

“I’m gone for one month and already Cas is possibly in danger,” you sigh but give a sly smile.

“I know!” Sam says sarcastically. “Without you, it’s been one great big ball of chaos. I mean, no one to boss us around or make us dinner. No one to do our laundry!”

“Oh, shut up!” You say as you hit him on his shoulder. “Speaking of chaos though,” you say shyly, “where is he?”

“In his room. I told him what was going on and he thought that he should just stay out of the way.”

“Good,” you say unconvincingly. You missed him.

“I’m glad you’re back, Y/N.” Sam says with a smile.

“And now that I am, what have you got?”

——————

You and Sam had set up shop in the Library, going through one book after another. Sam had found an old book that had about two-hundred different spells and cures in all sorts of different languages. He called you because you just happened to be bilingual. One translation led to a book and another translation to another. It took about six hours straight till needing a break got to you. But you wouldn’t quit.

“Come on,” Sam said as he begged you to stop reading for just a second. “We’ve been looking at this all night. Give it a break.”

“No. We are so close. I can feel it,” you reply without even taking your eyes off the page.

“The more you try to figure this out, the worse of a headache you’re gonna get.”

You stare at the page and notice something. You grab the magnifying glass from the table and examine the seam of the page.

“What is it?” Sam asks, noticing your shift.

“It’s the page.”

“What about it?”

“It’s missing.” You look up at him as you both share a thought.

——————

“Dean!” You yell as you race down the hall to his bedroom. You start banging on his bedroom door. “Open up the damn door now!” You shout.

The door opens slowly and you push through and start rummaging through the desk drawers. You take notice of all the empty bottles. From beer to vodka. They filled the empty space in the room.

“Where is it?! And don’t play dumb with me cause I know you took the page!” You turn to look at him. You see him for the first time since that night.

He stares at the ground with his head hung low. He has a short beard. Grown out his stubble. His complexion is paler than you’ve ever seen before. His freckles are showing all over his face. Under his eyes are dark circles. He’s the worst shape you’ve ever seen him in other than when he is bloodied and covered in bruises. But this was different. You could hear his heavy breaths. They were uneven. He was nervous. He looked lost. He wouldn’t let himself look at you. He was backed in the corner, scared like. He was heartbroken. Just like they said he was. Only you couldn’t picture a heartbroken Dean. This was awful and unlike any state you’ve ever seen him in. You hated to see him like this.

“Where is it?” You ask sincerely. He turns his head away, still refusing to look at you. “Dean, tell me where it is?” He stares at the ground. You turn back around and keep going through his drawers. “This would go a lot faster if you would just tell me where the page is, Dean.” You go through the box under his bed. “Why would you take it? You could’ve stopped so much from happening if you just told us you found the cure.” You find a folded page placed in a notebook.

It was it. You found the cure.

You shake your head at Dean. This all could’ve been avoided if he would’ve just fessed up to the knowing the antidote. You could cure him now. You could fix him. It would all be over. It would all just be over. You headed to the door and were going to go back to Sam and fix up a reverse spell.

“I know you’re in love with me,” you hear Dean say. His voice stops you in your tracks. The voice sounds so deep. Heavy and burdened. You turn around to see Dean standing there with tear-filled eyes. You look at him confused about his remark. “I hid the cure cause I know you’re in love with me, Y/N.”

Your heart drops. “What?” You say as your voice cracks.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you and I know you’re in love with me. I hid it cause I wanted you to be happy. To be happy with me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He looks at you so lost. He looks so hurt and in so much pain.

“Dean,” you try to say but instead he rushes over and just holds you tight.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he puts his one hand on the back of your head, pushing it close to him while his other hand is wrapped around your waist. “I just have to make sure you’re real.” You wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tight.

“I’m real, Dean.” You look up to the lost boy as he looks down at you. You go to sit on the edge of the bed as you take Dean’s hand so he does the same. “Dean, we have to fix you.” The words cut your throat as they come out. “We have to fix this.” Dean tilts his head down as tears start to fall from his eyes. You put your hand on the side of his face to get him to look at you.

Poor Dean. Poor, sad, heartbroken, in pain, Dean.

“I just… I just am so happy. For the first time in forever, I’m happy, Y/N. And it’s because of you.”

“Dean, it’s not real. This isn’t real.”

“It’s real enough. I’m not hiding anything. I don’t feel burdened. I don’t feel bad, I feel great. When I see you, I get butterflies in my stomach. I feel faint just by looking at you. Your my compass, always steering me straight. I’m a wreck without you. I just want you. I want you and me till the end of time.”

“No, Dean. This isn’t really how you feel. You’ve got to know that this is just the spell.”

“I know I love you. I know you love me. And I know the only way to prove it to you is to do the reverse spell.”

“You–you wanna do it?” You asked, shocked.

“I know you’ll never accept that I love you while I’m under the spell. And you’ll never love me back while like this. I loved you before the spell and if fixing me and taking away my happiness is how I can finally get you, then it is worth it.”

You close your eyes, overwhelmed that Dean is more onboard than you seem to be. You can feel his hand on your face and as you open your eyes you see his bright emerald eyes.

“Dean…” you almost start to cry.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He smiles at you and you laugh a little. “I just want you to be happy.”

You take a deep breath and start to get up and walk towards the door. You feel Dean tug on your hand and pull you back. You turn back to look at him as he hangs on to your hand.

“Please,” he says. “Please don’t go again. Stay. Please.”

Without any objection, you walk back towards the bed with your hand in Dean’s. You lay on top of the covers facing Dean. He turns off the light and you just stare at each other. Hand in hand. Your eyes slowly close as you drift off into sleep.


	7. Beautiful Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit different from the rest but I hope you like it just the same. There again is a song sung in this chapter (that I do not own the rights to!). It is called “I Think I Love You” and is performed by The Partridge Family. I would advise listening to it prior. If you have any suggestions or tips, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it!

“Hey.”

You hear a faint whisper but brush it off as nothing.

“Hey, Y/N.”

The voice continues. You shift in the bed, still keeping your eyes shut and unwilling to wake up.

“Y/N, wake up. We gotta go.”

“Mrmp,” you mumble out. You take a relaxing sigh and bury yourself even deeper in the pillow.

“Listen,” the voice says as you feel a nudge on your arm. “Y/N.” You open your eyes and see Dean with his hand on your shoulder, looking at you so intensely. “We’re gonna miss it.” He smiles as you start to move around a bit more.

“What… What’s, um, what?” You say as you sit up and rub your eyes. Dean is standing and puts some items in a bag. The room is dark with the only light coming from the open door.

“Hey, beautiful. We got to get a move on,” Dean says as he reaches for your hand to help you move around the dim room. You take it and stand up, almost falling as you try to stretch. “Woah,” Dean says as he pushes you back from falling. “Take it easy there.” 

“What’s going on, Dean?” You ask as you finally become aware and out of your sleepy state. You look around the room and to an alarm clock. “Two A.M.!” You say, confused after realizing you laid down only an hour ago. 

“Yeah, I know, it’s kind of early. But it’s a long drive.”

“What? Long drive? What’s happening? Why’d you wake me up?” You ask as you start to sit back down on bed, tempted to crawl under the covers.

Dean stands you back up and hands you your jacket and looks at you with a smile, “It’s a surprise.”

You look at him even more confused. You were never good at the whole wide alert thing after waking up. You trusted Dean, so you put on your jacket, and followed him down the halls and to the garage.

“Come on,” he said as he opened Baby’s passenger door for you to get in.

“Dean, just tell me what’s going on. Is something wrong with Sam? Or Cas?” You ask as you get in the vehicle.

“No,” he says with a laugh. “Sam’s asleep and Cas is fine last time I checked.” Dean gets in the car and starts the engine. You start to get comfortable in the seat, trying to go back to sleep.

“Well, if Sam gets to sleep, then so do I,” you say as you enact your words, quickly drifting back to sleep in the Impala.

——————

You wake up abruptly as you hear the car door slam shut. You sit up and look around in the empty car. It’s parked at a gas station and you assume that Dean is inside. You take a deep breath and try to rub the sleep out of your face. You look around in the car trying to see if anything is out of the ordinary. In the backseat, you see a cooler, a thermal bag and a blanket rolled up into a ball. You rub your eyes again, noticing how still very dark it is outside.

“What the hell?!” You say as you see that it is only three thirty in the morning. You try to think of why in the world you were doing out so late, or early. And what Dean meant by a surprise. You let out another tired yawn and let yourself think for a moment. 

“Oh,” Dean says as he opens the door and gets in. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He smiles at you and sets down a tray of coffee.

“Okay,” you take a breath, “I think I know what’s going on here.”

“You–You do?” Dean asks, surprised.

“Yes. You are kidnapping me aren’t you? That’s what all this is, isn’t it?! You woke me up in the middle of the night and are taking me god knows where at what the hell time in the morning.” You look at Dean who stares frozen. “Listen, I’m not mad at you, Dean. I just think that it’s best if we go back to the bunker and forget this all happened. Okay? I won’t tell Sam or Cas, just take me back ho–”

“I’m not kidnapping you,” Dean cuts you off.

“Yes, you are!” You nod your head as if believing that you have soiled his plan.

“No, I’m not.” You look at him confused. “Yes, I am taking you somewhere but I’m not kidnapping you. I just want to show you something that’s a surprise that I don’t want to spoil. But if you really wanna go back then I’ll take you back if it’s what you really want.”

“So you aren’t kidnapping me?” You ask as he nods his head no. “And you just want to take me somewhere?” He nods yes. 

“Unless you want to go back.”

“No. No, I think I wanna stay.”

Dean looks at you and smiles. “Good, that’s uh, good.” He starts the car and goes through a box of tapes. “And now that you’re up, we can play some music.” He puts in a tape that has ‘special occasions’ labeled on it. He starts to drive back on the road as the music plays. 

It was different music than you usually heard him listen to. It had a mix of Bob Seger, of course, Jim Croce, very odd, Leo Sayer, extremely odd, and Waylon Jennings, which kind of made sense. You knew some of the songs due to your own father’s taste in music, and the ones you didn’t know, he would continue to sing them to you until you did. But, there was one song that you had loved as a kid and it brought back memories as well as some thoughts on how similar the lyrics were to a situation you had come across.

“You know this one?” Dean asked as the music to “I Think I Love You” started to play.

“Oh, do I know it?” You asked sarcastically. “Do I know it”– _I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream, like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain. Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread._

_**I think I love you!**_ You and Dean sing in sync.

_I think I love you!_ Dean sings backup. _This morning I woke up with this feeling, I didn’t know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself, I’d hide it to myself and never talk about it and did not go and shout it when you walked into the room._

_**I think I love you!** _

_I think I love you!_ You sing backup.

**_I think I love you so what am I so afraid of, I’m afraid that I’m not sure of a love there is no cure for. I think I love you, isn’t that what life is made of though it worries me to say that I never felt this way._ **

You and Dean laugh for a moment as the instrumental plays.

“So you do know it?” Dean chuckles.

“Maybe just a little bit,” you smile in return.

“Oh yeah,” Dean says sarcastically. “Just a little bit. Sure.”

“Well you don’t know if I know the whole song. I haven’t even sang it.”

“Yet.” Dean smiles at you and shakes his head. _I don’t know what I’m up against. I don’t know what it’s all about. I got so much to think about._

_Hey!_ You belt out.

**_I think I love you so what am I so afraid of, I’m afraid that I’m not sure of a love there is no cure for. I think I love you, isn’t that what life is made of. Though it worries me to say, I never felt this way._ **

You laugh at Dean and smile as you continue to sing. _Believe me, you really don’t have to worry._

He laughs in return. _I only want to make you happy and if you say “hey go away” I will_

_But I think better still I’d better stay around and love you_

_Do you think I have a case, let me ask you to your face_

**_Do you think you love me?_ **

_I think I love you_

_I think I love you_

_I think I love you_

_I think I love you_

_I think I love you_

_I think I love you_

_I think I love you_

_**I think I love you** _

You and Dean break out into uncontrolled laughter as the music ends.

“That was, um…” You smile, unable to explain your joy.

“It was award worthy!” Dean continues.

“Yeah, sure, if you call award worthy being you unable to hit the high notes even when you try so hard.” You chuckle.

“Hey!” Dean says sarcastically and defensively. “I thought I did pretty good. And I don’t get a lot of practice when it comes to this song.”

“What do you mean? Do you not serenade Sam and Cas with this song?”

“Pft, yes actually. I make sure to wake up bright and early just so I can sing to them as a morning wake up call.”

“I’d pay money to see that performance!” You and Dean laugh for a moment.

“So how do you know the song? Did you sing it to your high school sweetheart or was it at drunk karaoke?”

You let out a small chuckle. “Neither, surprisingly. My, uh, Dad used to sing it to me before I went to sleep. Whenever I would get scared at night, he would come into my room and sing all different songs to me to try and put me to sleep. That was one of the, many, songs that he would sing.”

“Oh,” Dean says with a saddened tone. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no, don’t be sorry! I actually haven’t heard that song since, well, forever. It was nice. And I know the last time I talked about certain things involving my dad to you, I was messed up, but now, now I’m better. I’m not perfect but I’m allowing myself to heal.”

“That’s good, Y/N. That’s really good.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“But um, there’s something you should know,” Dean says with a worried tone.

“What? What is it?”

“I um, I, _I think I love you!”_

“Oh, can it Winchester!” You hit Dean on the shoulder.

——————

You and Dean had driven for another hour, singing the whole time, but finally arrived, somewhere.

“Close your eyes!” Dean shouts as you start to pull into a long stretch of gravel road.

“What?” You ask as you turn your attention towards him, met with his hands covering your eyes.

“Don’t look! Shut your eyes!”

“Okay! Okay! Just keep both hands on the wheel,” you say as you put your hand up to your eyes, smacking Dean’s away. “Why are you making me cover my eyes?”

“Cause it’s a surprise.”

“I know, but why won’t you just let me look now?”

“Because it’s not time ye–crap! We gotta go!” Dean says as he steps on the gas, speeding the car. 

“Woah! Woah! Slow down Vin Diesel!” You start to take your hand away from your face.

“No! Don’t look! We’re almost there!” Dean said as you drove for about another minute or two.

—————–

“Okay, okay!” Dean said as he opened your car door while you stepped out of it, still covering your eyes. “Watch your step.”

You step out of the car and feel the dirt and sand like texture beneath your feet. You knew you were out somewhere west of Lebanon but not keen as to where exactly. You stood still as Dean ordered you to wait while he got something out of the back.

“Come on,” he ordered as he took your free hand and guided it through what seemed like a maze. “Here! No, wait,” he moved to another spot, “Here! No, wait, that’s not it.” He moved around more and more, trying to decide on where to be.

“Dean! Just pick a spot.”

“Right. Um,” he takes your hand and gets you to sit down on the ground. “Right here. Now um, take your hand away.” You do so as he places his hands in front of your eyes. He sits to your left, behind you, on the blanket that he had laid out.

“Dean…”

“Shh, it’s almost here.” He lets his hands move further away from your eyes slowly.

You see the blanket, your legs, the dirt and grass. Dean tilts your head up slowly and you see it. You see a huge rock that has a little hole in it like an eye of a needle.

“It’s…It’s amazing!” You say at the beautiful sight. You turn back to him and smile. He moves your face away from him and towards the rock.

“Just, wait,” he says.

The darkness in the night sky slowly starts to light up. You see it. The beautiful sunrise that paints the sky with glorious light. The sun comes up right in the eye of the rock. The perfect spot. You watch as the dark gets engulfed in light. The puddle of water that was left in front of you by rain, sparkled. You saw two suns. Two gorgeous sights. It was marvelous. You stared at the sight for as long as you could without becoming blind.

“It–It,” you sigh. “It’s beautiful.”

Dean looks at you to inspect your face and says, “Yes, it is.” You continue to stare at the sight. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It’s gorgeous. Amazing. I love it.”

You look back at Dean and nod in agreement. “Yeah! It’s awesome!” Dean smiles at you. You wrap your arms around him without thinking. “Thank you,” you say as you look in his eyes.

“Uh, yo–you’re welcome.” He returns the hug and wraps his arms around you. You fall into him as you return your gaze to the sun filled skies. He starts to play with your hair as you lay your head against his chest. “Do you want something to eat?” He looks down at you and asks.

“No,” you say as you sigh with contentment. “I’m good. I’m great.” 

You look up at him and smile as he looks off to the sun. You notice his glowing green eyes. They are sparkling, shining, in the sun’s presence. You notice his still pale complexion. It looks better. You look at his beard that he has grown out. It’s small but different. His hair was parted different too. It looked like he didn’t care to spike it up like he normally would. It laid flat on top of his head. It actually looked good. You can see all of his freckles peaking through. You could get lost trying to count them. They spread all over his face from his cheeks to the bridge of his nose. His nose was where they were most prominent. His face was glowing.

He continued to comb through your hair so gently and slowly. Your eyes started to flutter as they became more heavy. You could smell Dean’s musk. It wasn’t bad. It was comforting. It relaxed you whenever you would be close with him. You kept looking towards the sky, taking it all in. It was so breathtaking. It felt so good to have your hair played with. It was so warm being in Dean’s clutches. The rhythm of his heart soothed you. Your eyes became too heavy for you to hold them open any longer.

—————–

You remember staying at the beautiful site for a while longer as you laid there, still and up against Dean. You remember holding onto his arm as you walked back to the car, trying not to fall over. You remember him playing your song again as you fell even deeper to sleep. You remember him placing your head in his lap as he drove all the way home. You remember him grabbing under your legs and back as he carried you bridal style into the bunker and to his room. You remember him setting you down gently in his bed as you remained relaxed and undisturbed. Lastly, you remember getting cold and shivering, then all the sudden becoming warm and wrapped in a comforter. And asleep you were.


	8. Long Train Runnin'

You take a deep breath and start to get up and walk towards the door. You feel Dean tug on your hand and pull you back. You turn back to look at him as he hangs on to your hand.

“Please,” he says. “Please don’t go again. Stay. Please.”

Without any objection, you walk back towards the bed with your hand in Dean’s. You lay on top of the covers facing Dean. He turns off the light and you just stare at each other. Hand in hand. Your eyes slowly close as you drift off into sleep.

——————— **  
**

You start to turn and wriggle around a bit as you begin to wake up. You feel arms around you as you are pressed up against a chest. It was Dean. You recall the night before and how you had your hand in his. But now, you were much closer now. He let his arms loose a little bit as you started to stretch. It was about ten in the morning. You were surprised it wasn’t even later. Your dream last night felt so real and so nice. You wished you didn’t have to get up and start the day. You dreaded what was to come. If Dean wasn’t just gonna up and kick you out after he gets cured, he at least would most likely not ever talk to you again. You knew the real Dean would hate anyone messing with his mind. And you have been messing with his mind from making him go insane when all this started, to sleeping with him. Or your version of sleeping with him that is.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Dean said as you opened your eyes and met his gaze.

“Hi,” you responded, almost struggling to say. You started to think of how today was the day that you were going to lose Dean. Forever. Your eyes began to water the more you thought about it. Just enough to where a tear or two started to slip down your face.

“Hey,” Dean said as he whipped your tears with his thumb. “It’s okay,” he said with such sincerity that you started to suffer even more. He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight.

You don’t care anymore. You can’t bear to care whether or not Dean would want you to have him hold you. The real Dean that is. This Dean whose arms you were in, he wasn’t Dean. Wasn’t even close. You would fight back a bit on being so close to him but you couldn’t. You didn’t. A part of you just wanted to stay like this forever. It felt safe and it felt amazing. You two just laid there for a movement. Your tears would fall down every now and again, only to be met with a reassurance that everything was okay from Dean.

“It’s time,” Dean said as he lifted your head to look at him.

“Dean…”

“Shh.” He looked in your eyes and at your lips. Your heart started to race. He analyzed every inch of your face. He moved in close to you. He placed his lips on your head and you let out a sigh. He gave you a kiss on your temple and pulled you tight. He released his grip and sat up. “We’ve got to um, fix me,” he chuckles. “Yeah. We gotta fix me.” He smiles trying to hold back his emotions.

He had gotten better at controlling himself. You were sure that it took everything in Dean to not just kiss you. He was more careful now. You actually think that he may want the cure partly due to his struggle with being next to you. He seemed to be sure that he loved you and will still love you even without the cure. Funny. You knew the truth. You knew that you would always long for him and he would never long for you. It’s sad but you know it’s the truth.

——————

You walked into the war room where Sam was sitting.

“Hey,” he said.

You sigh and give him a “Howdy” in return.

“Are you alright?” Sam asks, noticing your saddened and depressed expressions.

“Yeah,” you take a seat, “peachy.” You give him a smile that you are unable to uphold.

“So, did you ever figure out the cure?” He tries to lighten or better the mood with a smile but fails to do so for you.

“Yep.” You place a piece of paper on the table. “I’ve got it.”

“Great!” Sam takes the paper and tries to read.

“Yeah, it’s in Greek so good luck with that,” you say as Sam rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, I can read it because I’m brilliant.”

He smiles and asks, “So what do we need?”

“Basic stuff. We do need to make a call to get one ingredient though.”

“To who?”

“A demon,” you say blatantly.

“A what?!” Sam asks.

“The spell requires blood from a demon, fresh blood.” You look at Sam, clarifying that the blood that you have in stock, won’t suffice.

“Great.” Sam huffs. “What else?”

“We also need angel blood. So, Castiel too.”

“And that’s it?” Sam asks, checking to see if you are going to need a human heart or anything else bizarre.

“Nope. Just blood, Latin, herbs, spice and everything nice.” You give Sam a smile as he gives you a glare.

“You know who we gotta call right?” Sam asks as he looks at you agitated.

“Of course!” You answer sarcastically. “What other demon do we have on speed dial who mutually wants to kill us?”

——————-

“Hello, boys.”

The voice of one pathetic Scottish demon still sounds shivers down your spine. You turn around to face the bottom dweller. “Crowley! Long time.” You smile.

“Pardon me, boys, and _girl_. Yes. Too long you might say.”

“Ah, well, things to do, people to see. You know the drill.”

“And I assume putting me inside your silly little devils trap at your clubhouse isn’t for a friendly check in?”

“No,” Sam answers sternly.

“Moose! How’s the… oh wait… all of your misadventures with women are fatal. Aren’t they?” Crowley gives Sam his signature smile.

“Shut it,” you say, wishing that this day would already be over.

“Right to it then?”

“We need your blood,” Sam orders.

“Interesting. And what might my blood be used for?”

“It’s none of your business,” you answer.

“Wow. You don’t trust me? After everything we’ve been through together?”

“No,” Sam replies. “Not even a little bit.”

“Well as much as I’d love to help what I can only assume to be Dean due to him missing this little meeting of ours, I can’t.”

“Sure you can.” Sam holds up his demon blade.

“No. I can’t.” Crowley smiles. “Since our previous time together, I cooked up a little spell in order to keep what’s mine, mine.”

“Meaning?” You ask.

“Meaning, my blood stays in me. So looks like you’re out of luck.” You and Sam sigh.

“Great,” Sam says. “So we just need to go find another demon?”

“I guess,” you reply. “I’m sure there is bound to be one somewhere. One that isn’t under Crowley’s protection.” You think about how the demons have been off the radar for some time now due to the king of hell’s new arrangements.

“Such a shame. That is… unless…” Crowley taunts.

“Unless what?” You ask.

“See, there are some demons that aren’t great fans of me, nor I them. Let’s just say I know where they are and I’ve got my eyes set on some hunters that could take care of it no problem.”

“If you want them dead then why don’t you just kill them yourself?” Sam asks.

“Like I said, they aren’t fans of me. They have certain precautions set against me that I am unable to infiltrate. Or any other demon under my reign.” Crowley looks at you and Sam as you think about his offer. Find some demons, kill some demons.

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch. This will be beneficial for the both of us. Win, win. But,” Crowley pauses to smile, “I do want to see him first.”

“See who?” You ask.

“Who do you think, mouse? Squirrel. I want to see what’s wrong with him. Tell me, is he still alive?” Crowley laughs a little. Sam rolls his eyes and reluctantly leaves to go get Dean. “So, what’s wrong with him?”

“He’s under a spell,” you answer grimly.

“Oh? What type? A murderous spree one?”

“No. It’s a love spell,” you say regretful.

“Really?! Who is he in love with?” Crowley laughs.

“Me,” you mumble causing Crowley to laugh even more.

“Mouse and squirrel. Brilliant!”

“Oh shut up. You’re just jealous that it’s not you two,” you retort.

“I’m just pleased to see that you’re so desperate that you thought it best to call me. The situation must be dire.” Crowley smirks.

Sam walks in with Dean.

“There,” Sam says as he signals to Dean. “Here he is. Now tell us where the demons are.”

“Not so fast, moose,” Crowley responds. “I want to take this in. Dean Winchester, smitten with love.”

“Go to hell,” Dean replies.

“I’d love to. So, Dean, does it make you mad that the gang are trying to cure the spell?” Crowley moves around in the devils trap.

“No,” Dean says without hesitation.

“Really? Does it make you mad that Y/N doesn’t want you?”

“No,” Dean says with a little hesitation.

“Ah,” Crowley moves around more. You’re too focused on Dean to notice how close Crowley is to you. “Does it make you mad if I were to–” Crowley grips your arm, pulling you into the devils trap with him. He puts an angel blade up to your neck so that the boys wouldn’t attempt to come closer. “Do this?” He continues as he starts to cut into your neck. You wince at the pain but do your best to remain steady.

“Stop it, Crowley!” Dean commands.

“How about, if I do this?” Crowley takes his hand and brushes your hair from your head and kisses your neck. You stand still, disgusted but not worried. You know that he won’t kill you. He’s only trying to toy with Dean which he appears to be doing successfully.

“Stop it,” Dean says as tears start to form in his eyes. Crowley continues to kiss your neck. “Stop it.” Dean’s voice breaks. “Please,” he says with a scared tone, “quit it.”

“Interesting.” Crowley pulls away from you. “I like that you like her, Dean. It’s quite funny to see you scared and afraid for this pathetic little human.” Crowley makes another cut in your arm just for fun. Dean stares at Crowley with a murderous look. Sam holds him back just in case Crowley gets to him. “Why don’t you let me out of the devils trap, love. Then I’ll tell you where they are.”

“Yeah,” you struggle to say. He keeps the knife to you as you break the devils trap.

“Good. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Crowley laughs. He then takes out a pen and writes an address on your arm, making sure to press extra hard.

“That’s it?” Sam asks.

“That’s it. Goodbye boys,” Crowley looks at you, “and girl.”

He disappears.

Dean races over to you and looks at all the cuts. “Are you okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just need a band aid or two.” You smile, trying to ease him.

“Good.” Dean gives you a quick hug then turns you over to Sam who writes down the address.

“Okay,” Sam says. “I’ve got it and if you’re good then I say we knock this out before the sun goes down.” You and Dean both give a nod.

———————-

“This is a trap right?” You ask the brothers.

You were parked in the car outside an empty warehouse where the supposed demons are. It was just you, Sam, and Dean. Cas was still on his way back from the playground but would hopefully get back in time to do the cure. This was a trap.

“Yeah,” Sam replies. “It’s a definite trap.”

“I mean, if Crowley wanted these goons dead and couldn't’ kill them?” Dean says. “Then there must be some sort of deadly defense.”

“Great,” you add. “Best way to start the day by most likely getting ambushed.”

“You ready?” Sam asks.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Piece of cake, right?”

It was not a piece of cake.

———————

You and Sam took the southeast entrance as Dean went to the southwest one. It was a big warehouse to be housing just a couple of demons. You were hoping and praying that it was just a couple. But you knew that you were wrong.

“What do you see?” You whispered to Sam who was peering through a window.

“Nothing. It’s empty,” he responds looking confused.

“How is there nothing?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t see anything.”

“Why does this feel more and more like a trap?” You thought aloud. “You go inside and I’ll go check out the upstairs room,” you order.

“Okay. Be careful.”

Sam walked into the main room of the warehouse as you walked upstairs into an old control room.

“What the hell?” You asked yourself as you opened the door.

It was a room filled with dead bodies. Demons most likely. The smell of sulfur wreaked. The bodies were lying in a pile but there was something else. There was a weird looking machine. It was connected to some sort of altar. The machine looked supernatural. It seemed to be a new addition to the warehouse. The altar that it was connected to was gold and covered in blood. It had sigils and markings all over it.

“Guess I know what the defense against Crowley was,” you say to yourself.

You looked to see that the room was completely empty before you examined the machine. No one was in the room. Just you and what looked like a miniature doomsday device. It started to hum so you walked closer to it. You kept your finger on the trigger of your gun as you moved closer and closer to the altar and machinery. A quick flash of white light went off around the room.

_Boom_

“Y/N!” Sam yelled out. He bolted out of the room to race over to you.

“Not so fast fella,” a demon said as he stopped Sam in his tracks.

“Get out of my way!” Sam pulled the trigger just as another demon came up to hit the gun out of his hand. Sam reached for his angel blade just as he was met by another demon. Three against one.

“Looks like big Winchester here is out of his defenses,” one demon said with a sneer.

“Not quite,” Sam said as he started to punch and hit the three devils as they ganged up on him.

_Punch. Kick. Hit. Duck. Punch. Slit. Kick. Hit._

Sam kept his own for about two minutes until they decided that enough was enough and began to use their own human blades.

“Dean!” Sam continued to call out. The demons had him pinned down and kept slicing and dicing into his skin.

“Oh, no!” The demons taunted. “Big bro is dealing with our own brothers. And let’s just say they aren’t as fun as we are!” They chuckled as Sam continued to call for backup.

“Sammy!” Dean screamed out as he had four problems of his own.

Dean was fighting hand to hand with the demons. They didn’t have any weapons and it helped that the bodies that they were possessing weren’t the strongest. Without any weapons, the boys were fighting a never ending battle. They had been fighting for minutes. Getting beat for minutes.

Damn Crowley.

He knew there were a plethora of demons and lied about it. He didn’t lie about the whole win win situation though. Either we get killed or they do. Works out in his favor both ways.

“Dean!” Sam continued to call out. He kept screaming and struggling to break free. He needed some backup. And no offense to Dean but, he was getting his ass whooped.

“Sam! I need some backup!” Dean kept trying to dodge and punch but to no avail.

“I can’t!”

“Where’s Y/N?!”

An idea came into Sam’s mind. A crazy idea.

“They have her, Dean! They’re about to kill her! She needs you to save her, Dean!”

That old murderous look entered Dean’s eyes. This time, he wasn’t going to try to kill Sam.

No one gets in between him and Y/N.

“No!” Dean screamed at the top of his lungs. He gained a source of brute strength as he hit the skulls and snapped the necks of the demons. He killed one after another. He stabbed them with the demon blade and made his way over to Sam.

“Hey big guy!” Said a demon whose life ended with those being his last words. Dean threw his through a wall and made his way to the two that had Sam pinned down. He sliced through the back of one and cut the throat of another.

“Where is she?!” Dean shouted, sending shivers down Sam’s almost broken spine.

“Up–Upstairs,” Sam said as he picked himself off the floor.

Dean rushed up the stairs to see the shattered glass and smoke surrounding the blast site.

“Y/N?!” Dean called out as he made his way through the pile of dead demons. “Y/N?!” He called out again. He made his way to the altar and found you.

You laid lifeless. Bleeding out. Shards of glass in your skin and your hair. You were motionless in a puddle of your own blood.

“No,” Dean said under his breath as he raced down to pick you up. “No, no, no, no.” He knelt down and pulled you off the ground. “No.” He moved the hair from your face. He was getting painted with your blood as he examined your wounds. “No,” he said again as his voice cracked.

“Dean?!” Sam called out as he managed to make it upstairs. “Dean!”

“No,” Dean said again as he pulled you close to him as tears streamed down his face.

“Dean!” Sam said with a smile as he found his brother. He looked at him confused as to what he had in his hands. When the sight set in that it was you, wounded, and lifeless you, his smile faded into a look of despair. “Is she…”

Dean started to sob as he gripped you tighter and tighter. Tight enough to make you start to gasp.

“Y/N?!” Dean said as he loosened his grip. Sam rushed down to the two of you as he checked your pulse.

“She’s still breathing!”

“Y/N?!” Dean started to shake you.

You tried to open your eyes but they refused to widen. You started to choke on your blood as it overflowed your mouth.

“Tilt her down!” Sam ordered so you could cough up the blood.

You struggled to breathe. Everything hurt. Your head, your body, your throat, your eyes. It was awful.

“Y/N?! Hey, hey, hey, stay with us!” Sam ordered as he saw you going in and out of it.

“Y/N, stay with me,” Dean said with teary eyes and broken words. He continued to brush your hair back and away from the dried and sticky blood. “Stay with me.”

“Dean, we’ve got to get her out of here. To a hospital.” Sam looked at Dean as he remained frozen in shack and fear. “Dean!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean nodded. “Listen, Y/N, I’m gonna pick you up and it’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt a lot but it’s gonna be okay.” Dean reached down as he picked you up slowly and gently.

You whined and cried. You were unable to do anything more. It hurt. Everything hurt.

“It’s okay,” you heard Dean say with his trembling voice. He managed to completely lift you off the ground. “Sam, pull the car around,” Dean ordered. Sam nodded and rushed back down the stairs where you were soon having to follow.

You opened your eyes again to see bloodied and wet eyed Dean. You tried to speak but couldn’t. You couldn’t even cry. Everything hurt.

“Shh,” Dean said, trying to console you. “I just need you to stay with me. This is gonna hurt a lot but you gotta stay with me, Y/N.”

You tried to nod your head but were unable.

Dean slowly carried you through and out the door. You could feel as he took the first step down the stairs. It hurt like hell. He tried to be gentle when stepping down but it didn’t help that he had just gone head to head with a bunch of demons.

“It’s okay,” he said to you as he stepped down each step. It was awful. It hurt.

——————-

“I got her,” Sam said as Dean passed your body to him as Dean got in the backseat of the impala.

“He…” You tried to say something. Anything. You were in too much pain.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’ve got you,” Sam said as he held you in his arms. “It’s okay.”

“Come on,” Dean said as he reached for you as Sam put you in the backseat beside his brother.

You grunted out more in pain.

“Shh, shh, shh. I’m right here,” Dean said as he straightened you out in the seat. “I’m right here.”

Your eyes began to flutter again. The pain was too much. You started to pass out.

“Hey, hey! Stay with me!” Dean shouted. You could see Dean’s face. It was the last thing you saw as your eyes closed and your body went into sleep.

—————–

You were drowsy. Still in pain. It hurt less. You hurt less. It felt funny. You opened your eyes to see the big bright lights.

“Woah,” you mumbled out. You looked to find yourself wrapped up in all sorts of things.

“Hey!” You heard someone call. “Sam!”

“Wha–Where am I?” You asked.

Two men came to your side. You could barely see. The room smelt like jello.

“Y/N?” The cute one asked.

“What? Who are you?” You responded.

“Y/N, it’s me, Dean.”

“Hi, Dean. I’m uh… uh… I’m hungry.” You tilted your head over to see a giant. “Woah!” You shouted. You’ve never seen a giant before.

“Y/N?” The giant asked.

Your eyes went wide. The giant was speaking to you. You stared at the giant and the cute guy.

“Am I at a Chippendales?” You questioned.

“No,” the cute one replied. “Y/N, you’re in a hospital. Remember? The warehouse? The demons?”

“Oh,” you said. “That explains the giant.” You nodded.

“What?” The giant asked with a confused look on its face.

“Don’t you know that your dad’s a demon?” You mentioned.

“Y/N, what are you talking about?” The giant spoke again.

“In the big book, the one with the whore, it says that giants are the spawns of demons and women.”

“What?!” Giant looked at you oddly.

“Your mom is a slut. Your dad is a demon.” You smile, proud that you know things.

“Hey,” the cute one spoke, “I think the drugs are messing with you. It’s me and Sam.”

“No you’re not! You said your name was Dave!”

“No, my name is Dean. His name is Sam,” he points to goliath. “And your name is Y/N.”

“So this isn’t Chippendales? Which one of you is Mike?”

“Listen,” the giant grabbed your normal sized human hand, “Y/N, you are on medication and it’s making you loopy. Okay? You aren’t at a Chippendales. You got hurt, Y/N. You’re at a hospital. Cas is heading here so he can fix you. You just got to hang on for a little while longer.”

You looked at the giant and the cute one for a moment. You smiled and they smiled. “I wasn’t listening. Sorry.”

“Sam,” the cute one called, “go get the doctor.”

Goliath went out to find David. The cute guy pulled up a chair to your bed and sat really close to you. He looked sad. His face was wet and it looked like he used non washable red paint on it. He took your hand and held it in his.

“Are you Mike?” You asked.

He smiled and laughed a little. “Yeah, I’m uh, I’m Mike.”

“I knew it.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I have to tell you something,” you whisper.

“What?” He leans in closer to you.

“I don’t have any ones.” You sigh.

“It’s okay,” he says with a smile. He’s crying. He looks really sad.

“Why are you sad, Dave?”

“I’m sad because someone who I love very much is in a lot of pain. And I’m in a lot of pain. More pain than I should be because I love that person very much. I’m very sad because I almost lost that person today.”

“Oh,” you nod.

“Yeah.” The cute man wipes his eyes.

“Welp, I’m glad you found them cause from the looks of it, you wouldn’t last very long without them.”

Cute man looks at you like he’s thinking.

Then the giant comes in with a tin man.

Tin man makes giant and cute man leave.

Then giant and cute man makes the tin man leave.

An odd man comes into the room.

“Y/N?” The odd man asks.

“Who are you?” You ask him.

“Cas, is she… okay?” Cute boy asks.

“If you mean is she suffering from actual memory problems, then no. This is a side effect from the drugs,” the odd man answers.

“It was him!” You point to goliath. “He drugged me! He’s a demon and slut spawn!”

“What?” Odd man asks. “No, Sam is not a demon and he was not the one to drug you.”

“How do you know?!”

“I know because I’m an angel.”

“What? What?! Mike!” You call out. Mike comes over. “Dave, did you know about this?”

“Yeah,” the cute guy answers.

“This Chippendales has some weird fetishes.”

“Sure,” goliath says with a chuckle. “Cas, can you fix her?”

“Mostly,” the odd man responds. “It was a magical type bomb so it works differently. I can heal the majority. It will have to be in segments though. And she won’t have remembered the past five hours at least.”

“Good,” the cute boy says. “Just make it happen.”

The odd angel comes over and puts his fingers on your head.

“I’m getting touched by an angel!” You shout. “Best day ev–”

_Dun_

——————

You move a bit then jolt up and open your eyes.

“What the hell?!” You shout. You look around and are in the infirmary.

“Y/N?!” Dean says as he rushes over with Sam. “Are you alright?”

“I think?! What the hell happened?! I was in the car five seconds ago!”

“Right,” Sam said. “Well um,” he clears his throat, “we all went into the warehouse and it was a trap.”

“We haven’t gone to the warehouse yet?”

“Yes, we have,” Dean replies. “It was a trap and there was a bomb and you got hurt. Cas healed you though.”

“What?”

“It’s okay, I mean, you’re all good now.” Sam said. “Right?”

“Yeah, I think. Is that why I can’t remember anything or know what the hell you’re talking about?”

“Yes. But good news,” Sam looked at you and Dean, “Cas got a demon and we’ve got the rest of the ingredients for the cure.”

“Great!” You say, lying to yourself and them. “That’s great.”

“Yeah,” Dean says.

“I’m gonna go get it ready if you guys are good?” Sam asks. You and Dean both nod as Sam leaves.

“How long was I out?” You ask.

“A day or two.”

“What?! Geez. A freaking bomb?”

“Yep.”

“Well that’s a new one.”

“Definitely,” Dean says. He pauses for a moment to look at you. “Are you alright, Y/N?”

“To be honest,” you take a breath. “I feel funny. Not really in pain but I feel like I got hit by a bomb, actually.” You laugh a little.

You look at Dean. It looks different, again. He went back to his stubble look. He doesn’t look as pale as he was. He still has dark circles. He looks tired and depressed-like. He just looks so sad and in pain.

“Are you okay, Dean?” You ask.

He takes a deep breath and looks at you with sorrowful eyes. “I’m just–I just need the cure.”

“What do you mean?” You ask, afraid that even with the spell, Dean, the real Dean was already beginning to not love you anymore.

“I can’t.” Dean starts to have tears fall down his face. “I love you, so much, and if I lost you, I wouldn’t last long. This curse, it’s, it’s amazing but seeing you like this… seeing you on the brink of death… I can’t control myself. I just have to get that uncontrollability fixed. I have to get it fixed so that I can just love you and that’s it. I just want to keep loving you and once I get cured, I’ll only love you.”

You smile at Dean and take his hand. A single unnoticed tear slips down your face.

“I know,” you lie through your teeth. “I know.”

——————

“Alright,” Sam says as he mixes the ingredients together. “Now this,” he says as he takes the demon blood and pours it in the pot with the other ingredients.

You are at Dean’s bedside in the infirmary. He is gripping on to your hand ever so tightly. You, Sam, and Cas are choosing to ignore the tears that are streaming down Dean’s face or the fact that he is shaking. You try to smile and console him but truthfully, you need someone to console you.

He was never gonna talk to you again. He was gonna kick you out of the bunker. He’d never talk to you again. You might work with Cas and Sam for a while. That is until they decide to leave you too. There’s no way that Dean would just be alright with everything that’s happened. It may not be your fault but this was all your problem. Dean opened up to you. He trusted you, loved you. As soon as he gets the cure he’ll either give you the silent treatment or just tell you to head for the door.

You were dreading the worse.

“Ready?” Sam asks.

“Yeah,” Dean nods.

“Y/N, are you ready?”

“Wh–Yeah,” you clear your throat, “yeah.”

Sam starts to mumble some Latin as Cas cuts his hand and bleeds it over the pot. You look to Dean as he looks at you, terrified, scared. Without thinking, you lean over to him and give him a kiss on his forehead. He nods his head at you as to offer himself and you some type of reassurance.

“It’s all gonna be okay,” you mouth out as Sam stops his speech.

Dean closes his eyes and goes into an unconscious state. His chest rises up and down as he grunts in pain. He moves around in the bed as his hand still grips to yours. I

t stops.

This was it. Time to lose Dean forever.

Dean gasps as he opens his eyes and looks in shock.

“What th–” He turns to you and Sam and Cas. He takes his hand away from yours.

Maybe he just let go of your hand by accident.

“Dean?” Cas asks. “Are you alright?”

“I uh,” Dean shakes his head. “I think?” His voice sounds normal. He looks like normal Dean. Tense, but still normal. “What um,” he looks at you almost disgusted like, “what happened?”

“Well,” Sam starts to speak up, “Do you remember the curse? You got hit with a love curse.”

“Right.” Dean sits up in the bed and continues to look at you oddly and then looks towards Sam. “Who was I in love with?”

Sam laughs a little thinking that Dean was just worried about who he was making moves on. “Y/N. You were under a spell to love her.”

“Y/N?” Dean says. “Yuck.”

You laugh it off. He didn’t mean it.

“I mean, Y/N? Really?” Dean asks, Sam nods. “God, that must’ve been a strong spell to make me love some worthless piece of trash like you.”

It shattered.

“What?” You mumble through a nervous smile.

“‘What?’ You mean you don’t agree with you being a piece of trash? I’m sorry, I meant a hag. Oh no, sorry, I meant a whore. A slut. A stupid skank who is useless and pathetic.”

“Dean?” Sam asks. “What are you doing?”

“Sam, I’m just trying to tell this stupid insignificant bottom dwelling disease what she is.” Dean looks at you with more disgust. You stare frozen.

It wasn’t that bad. You didn’t think of this reaction but it’s probably temporary.

You stand up as Dean stands up after you.

“You hear that?” Dean says as he starts to back you up in the corner. “Do you understand what I’m saying or are you to dumb? Cause if you do then let me continue. You are a bitch. A witch. You are the worst person on earth and to be in love with you is to be in love with Satan himself.”

“Dean,” Sam says as he pushes Dean away from you, “knock it off.” Sam looks at Dean confused. You all were. But not Dean. He kept the shots coming.

“No Sam! She deserves to know how god awful she is!” Dean pushes Sam back which gets Cas interested.

“Dean?!” Cas yells.

“You are worthless! You are nothing! You are some bastard that doesn’t even deserve to live!” Dean moves over to pick up a gun. He aims it at you. “Let me give you mercy.”

“No!” Sam shouts as Dean fires the trigger. Cas got in front of you before it could hit you. Sam took the gun out of Deans hands and started to fight with him.

“Fine! I don’t need some gun to end this maggot’s life!” Dean yells. Now Sam and Cas were both holding Dean back.

You ran out from the infirmary, trying to get away. You could still hear him.

“You should be dead! It should’ve been you! You killed your parents!”

You raced up the stairs. You weren’t quick enough.

“It was your fault they died! You killed them! It was all your fault you piece of sh-”

_Slam_


	9. Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

You ran out from the infirmary, trying to get away. You could still hear him.

“You should be dead! It should’ve been you! You killed your parents!”

You raced up the stairs. You weren’t quick enough.

“It was your fault they died! You killed them! It was all your fault you piece of sh-”

_Slam_

_—————————-_

_Bzz. Bzz. Bzz._

_Bzz. Bzz. Bzz._

_Bzz. Bzz. B-Whack._

You rubbed your eyes, trying to get the sleep out of them. They were sore. Apparently, crying yourself to sleep every night for a month doesn’t leave your eyelids feeling rejuvenated. One months. One god awful month since you ran out of the bunker and never looked back.

You sat up in your bed, moving the sheets around thinking of how much easier it would be to just crawl right back underneath them. It would be easy, sure, but you have stuff to do. And that stuff being leaving credit card trails in far away places just in case Sam was still looking for you. You threw out your cellphone a while back, trading it for one that the boys couldn’t track. You didn’t even know if they were still on the hunt for you. Either way, it didn’t matter. You didn’t want to be found.

You walked to the bathroom, starting your morning routine. Washing face, brushing teeth, combing hair. This was just about the only constant you had in your life currently. A routine. You would leave and find a new hotel, new car, new credit card and new fake name every week. You would say that you were on the run but in order to call it that, you’d have to know what you were running from.

Were you running from Dean? The words that still echoed in your head? The pain of your heartbreaking? Or was it a mix? It seemed like your life just got ripped to shreds. That feeling of your heart crumpling is something that never went away. You missed them. You missed him. 

Dean’s reaction was something that you never could’ve even imagined. You thought names would be called and harsh words would be said, but never did you think that Dean would try to shoot you. If it wasn’t for Castiel stepping in front of the bullet just in time, you would be dead as a doornail.

His words, they haunted you. There was only one time that Dean Winchester had ever come close to being like that. It was different back then. You still don’t know why he acted the way he did. Looks like now you’ll never know.

———————-

Two years ago. Florence, Alabama. Jillian’s Diner.

You sat in the booth with Sam, trying to wipe the excess of Hellhound blood off of your face.

It was the time of the trials. You, Dean, and Sam had all been fighting over who gets to shut the gates of hell forever. Lucky you, it just so happened that you had on the glasses and a knife in hand. You managed to kill the mutt before it killed Sam. Drenched in the blood from a hound of hell. All you had to do was mumble a little Latin and the first trial was one and done.

The two of you waited for Dean to arrive at the diner. He was out in the woods, hunting with the idiots who sold their soul in the first place when it all went down. Sam had given him a call telling him where you two were getting your nutrients. 

You didn’t mention to Sam and sure as hell wouldn’t tell Dean what you felt like inside. It hurt on a whole other level. Your forearm was killing you. It was as if a chainsaw was stuck inside you and just kept hacking away. You knew it would only get worse but whatever the cost, it would be worth it. Slamming the gates of hell. Forever.

“You alright?” Sam asked as he wiped the last bit of blood off of your face.

“Yeah,” you replied with a smile. “How about you? I know that you were pretty determined to gut the mutt.”

“Eh, sure but, I don’t care who it is so long as we lock the demons up and throw away the key.” Sam chuckled and you smiled.

“It’s gonna be so great when they are gone. Think about it: no more demons. No Crowley!” You say with glee as the thought leaves you happy.

_Slam_

“What?” Sam says as he turns around in the seat to see who opened the door.

There stands Dean. He looks mad. Very mad.

“Dean?” Sam questions as his brother stomps over to the table with a deadly gaze directed at you.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Dean shouts, causing a jump from everyone in the place, yourself included.

“Dean!” You reply, trying to get him to calm down. He just continues to stare at you. Maddened. 

“Why did you do it?! Why?!” He continues shouting.

Sam stands up from his seat and goes over to Dean, “What the hell, man?” He whispers. “You need to calm down,” he says with a stern tone.

“No! I will not calm down!” Dean says as he pushes Sam away.

The waiters and waitresses start to come and view the fight. You still remain in your seat with the rabid Dean hovering over you.

“Take it outside, Dean,” Sam whispers as he takes notice of the people watching. He knows that if Dean gets out of hand, a lot of people could get hurt. He pushes Dean towards the door but not before Dean can push back.

“Fine! You want me to take it outside? Then I’ll take it outside!” Dean replies as he marches back over to you, grabbing you by the arm and shoving you out the door.

“What the hell, Dean?!” You shout as Sam tries to pull Dean’s hand away from your arm. 

“‘What the hell?!’ ‘What the hell?!’ How about what the hell were you thinking by doing the trial?!”

“What?!” You say as Dean starts pacing, trying to hold himself back. “That’s what this is about?!” Dean nods aggressively at you. “I did the trial! So what?”

“‘So what?!’” Dean starts going over towards you again but Sam stops him resulting in a few hits to be thrown.

“Knock it off!” You yell as you pull the beaten brothers from one another. You stand Dean up and try to check on him but he just swats you away. “Dean,” you say grimly, “what is your problem? And talk. Don’t yell. Don’t punch,” you order.

Dean takes a few steps then falls on a bench. You go over to Sam who has blood dripping down from the side of his face.

“How could you be so stupid?” Dean asks you.

“I’m sorry?” You reply, unsure of if Dean just insulted you.

“Seriously. How could you be that stupid? I honestly want to know,” Dean chuckles a little.

“You better watch your mouth, Winchester,” you say as you struggle to control yourself. “I’d choose your next words very wisely.”

“Dean, what is wrong with you?” Sam asks.

Dean just laughs.

“What has gotten into you?” You add.

“I’m pissed off!” He shouts.

“Because I did the trials?” 

“That’s exactly why!”

“What’s it to you? The gates are gonna close. Does it really matter who locks it up?”

“Yes! It does matter!” Dean says as he rubs his hands through his hair. “It matters a lot.”

“Is this just because you wanted to do it?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, is this just some stupid ego-hero thing, Dean?” You ask as you look at the agitated Dean.

“No, that’s no–that’s not what it is,” Dean sighs. “Just, why did you have to do it, Y/N? Why?”

“I did it because I just so happened to do it! Okay?” You say sarcastically. “Could you just for once not try and be the one who saves the day? Can you just stow your crap?”

“We don’t know what the trials could do to you, Y/N.”

“So?! You were gonna do them! Just cause you like sacrificing yourself at every chance you get doesn’t mean you have to!”

“That’s not why! That’s no–” Dean stops.

“‘That’s not’ what, Dean? Finish what you were gonna say!” You order.

Dean exhales with a smile. He shakes his head and stands back up from the bench. He walks past you.

“Are you gonna answer me?” You ask. Dean goes over to the car and gets in. “Nice, Dean! Real mature!” He drives off and you turn your attention towards Sam. “Do you know what that was about?”

“No,” Sam answers as he brushes his hair out of his face. “No clue.”

———————-

And just like that, Dean never talked about it again. He just left pissed off but eventually came back around to his usual annoying self. All you knew is that Dean really liked to be the one to die or get killed. He’d jumped in front of the gun for you more times than once. Never did you think he’d end up shooting at you.

Even though he was mad at you back then, it was nothing compared to how you left him.

_You are worthless! You are nothing! You are some bastard that doesn’t even deserve to live!_

No.

_You should be dead! It should’ve been you! You killed your parents!_

Stop.

_It was your fault they died! You killed them! It was all your fault you piece of sh-_

I said stop!

No matter what you told yourself, no matter how hard you tried to forget, or how hard you tried to block it out, his words played like a broken record in your head. Over and over, and over, and over. Even Jim, Jack, and Jose couldn’t take the edge off. Nothing could. Nothing can.

———————-

All you could think about was Dean. God, he was stuck in your brain like glue. Even a month later and you couldn’t stop.

———————-

You had just gotten back from a grocery store downtown and made your way into the motel room. It had been two months now that you were away from the bunker.

It hurts so bad.

You missed your family. You missed your home. You missed Baby. You missed Dean. You missed Cas. You missed Sam.

You went to collapse on your bed as the floodgates opened and all sorts of tears and emotions came out. You couldn’t handle it all alone. It took everything in you to not call Sam and crawl back to him knowing that he would help carry the burden. He always had. He was like the big brother you always wanted. He was your brother.

You reached for your phone but the thought of Dean stopped you from going any further.

What if he still wants to kill me? What if he tries to? What if he’s managed to convince them that I am everything he said and less? Why was I so stupid? Why am I here? What am I doing? I should come back home. They miss me, I’m sure. I miss them. I miss all of them. I miss playing chess with Cas. I miss researching with Sam. I miss looking at Dean every time he looked away from me. 

Even when Dean was annoying, you still loved that he gave you attention. You loved it whenever he would call your name. You loved it when–when–you loved Dean. Everything about him. Burdens and all. You had spent so long trying to push all of your feelings down and away but ever since… ever since the spell, those emotions arose. Now you suffer the pain of heartbreak. You suffer the pain of losing everything. Everyone.

————————

It wasn’t but a day later that you had managed to over sleep. It wouldn’t be that bad if it wasn’t fourteen days now that you were in the same motel. The routine kind of got lost and you gave in to the sight of your bed and ‘On Demand’ on the television.

_Knock. Knock._

You heard at the door as you turned off Game of Thrones.

Crap.

This is what happens when you binge. You go into a pit of never ending stories, plot lines, character arcs, and some amazing lighting. The wonders of television.

_Knock. Knock._

Right. You take a deep breath. You figure that it is the motel manager complaining that you have the volume too loud. To be honest, it’s not your fault that they make the sound too quiet.

_Knock. Knock._

“Coming!” You shout as you crawl out of bed and fax your clothes so it doesn’t look like you’ve been laying in bed all week. 

_Knock. Knock._

“I’m coming!” You say again as you turn the knob to open the door. You take a glance at the silhouette of a man in your doorway. The sun shines in your eyes and it takes a minute for the sight to settle. You see him. And it sure as hell ain’t the manager. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” You yell as you slam the door shut.

_Bam_

The door flies back open and you corner yourself in the room, trying to find something, anything.

“Two months and I get a slammed door in my face?” He asks.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” You ask as you terror in fear as he walks in the room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

“Wow, what a greeting!” He says sarcastically. You search for an escape and set your eyes on the bathroom. “I need to talk to you, Y/N.”

“Get the hell away from me, Dean!”

Dean Winchester. Cornering you yet again. The bathroom being your only escape. 

You run towards the bathroom as Dean chases after your. “Don’t–” Dean tries to say as he nearly grabs you before he gets another door slammed in his face. “Really, Y/N? Again?”

“Go away!” You order as you lock the bathroom door.

“I told you, I need to talk to you.”

“You can go to hell!” You say as you look towards the window. You try to open it but it won’t budge.

“Yeah,” Dean says from the other side of the door, “that’s not gonna work, sweetheart.” You can practically hear his smirk. You sigh as you realize that you are locked in the bathroom. The only way out is through Dean Winchester which you have to say, you have mixed feelings about.

“Let me out of here!” You command.

“Hey, I’m not the one who locked herself in the bathroom. Besides, we need to talk and I’m not going to talk to a door,” Dean replies.

“Well I’m not talking to you!” You respond. 

“Fine then.” 

“Fine!” You shout as you search for another escape. Nothing. There is nothing. Dean even made sure that the window was locked from the outside, complete with a note that said “not this time. :)”

Great.

You sat down on the floor, starting the waiting period for Dean to leave.

——————-

It had nearly been twenty minutes at least. You could still hear Dean on the other side of the door. You could only think about the situation. 

Dean was here. With you. You had no backup. No help. No defense. Like always, you were screwed. Now’s the time when you wish you had a spare knife in your shoe or even a lighter in your pocket. You didn’t know what Dean this was. It could be a whole other crazy by now. Sure he didn’t seem aggressive like he was before but you couldn’t trust him. The last time you saw him, he literally tried to kill you.

“Are you still there?” You asked as you pressed your face closer to the crack under the door.

“Yup,” he answered almost tiredly.

“What are you doing?” You asked cautiously.

“Right now? Well, right now I’m taking a nap since you are being stubborn.”

“I am not being stubborn!” You reply defensively. 

“That right there is called stubbornness, sweetheart.” You could hear Dean laugh a little.

——————–

About ten more minutes of silence passed.

“You know? I never took anyone else there,” Dean let out.

“What?” You ask, unsure if this was a trap. Dean always knew how to push your buttons.

“I said, I never took anyone else there.”

“What does that mean?” 

Silence.

“Dean,” you try again with your curiosity getting the better of you. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I’m sorry? Are you talking to me?” Dean replies. “Cause I didn’t know doors could talk!”

“Dammit, Dean!” You say knowing that he won’t answer you unless you open the door. You can picture him smiling as you think out the situation. 

This isn’t like crazy Dean. Or other crazy Dean. He seemed normal enough.

“If I open the door, will you kill me?” You ask bluntly.

Silence.

“Oh, come on!” You shout in frustration. You were both stubborn but you both knew Dean was the worst. “Give me something here. At least let me know that I won’t die if I open the door!”

“Hm… I can’t promise that. I mean, you may get shot at by an intruder or there could be an earthquake or there could be a lighting storm where lighting comes straight down, bust through the ceiling, and goes right for y–”

“Okay! I get it!” You roll your eyes and cautiously open the door. You see Dean sitting with his back against the wall, very closely mirroring your own position. “You happy now?” You ask sarcastically.

“Um, sure,” Dean answers with a smile.

“So what did you mean by ‘never took anyone else there?’” You question as you slowly scoot out of the bathroom, leaning your back against the bed, facing Dean.

“I mean, you are the only person who has ever gone with me to see the rocks.” He looks at you and smirks, proud of the fact that he got you to come out of the bathroom.

“What rocks?” You ask, confused.

“The rocks! The rock monument?” Dean looks at you strangely. “Please tell me you did not manage to forget the fact that I took you to see the sunset at the rock site.”

You think for a moment and look back at him. “How do you know my dreams?” You say, with concern and confusion.

“Dream?” Dean returns the confused look on your face. “Y/N, that wasn’t a dream. I really did take you there and you really did see the sunset. Why would you think it was a dream?”

“I–Wh–Ho,” you keep trying to form words. The fact that your dream actually happened is the second most surprising thing you found out today. Soon to be the third. “I thought it was a dream because I woke up in bed?” You reply, uncertain.

“Okay, listen, do you remember me waking you up? You were in my bed?” You nod. “Good. Do you remember waking up in the car?” You nod again. “All that, it happened. And afterwards, I drove us home, then you fell back asleep.”

“But how did–how did I wake up in bed?”

“I carried you,” he answers. You look at him confused. It would make sense. “I didn’t want to wake you so I carried you from Baby and back to my bed.”

“Then what?” You ask cautiously, seeing if you might have forgotten something else.

“Then you started shivering. I figured that you wouldn’t want to be under the covers with me so instead, I, you know, I snuggled… you.” Dean smiles, almost embarrassed. 

“You snuggled me? That was it?”

“Yeah.” Dean rubs his neck, almost nervous like. “Okay, look, I couldn’t control myself very easily at the time so sorry for wanting to be so close to you.”

“That’s your excuse?” Dean nods. “I don’t care that you snuggled me Dean. In fact, I’m relieved that you didn’t do anything more.”

“Well, I wanted to.” Dean smiles at you. You look down at the ground.

You missed his smile. It’s still hard to believe that he was here. 

“How did you find me?”

“You think it was a hard task to find you? Listen, sweetheart, if I wanted to find you the minute you walked out the door, you would’ve been found. In fact, I’ve known right where you’ve been for months.”

“So you’ve been stalking me?”

“Are–are you serious? No. I just… I had to wait for the right time. To talk to you.” Dean’s face gets red.

“What do you want?” You notice that Dean keeps getting nervous.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry, for starters.”

“Sorry for…”

Dean looks at you and rolls his eyes. He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry for coming after you, twice.”

“Three times,” you correct.

“Yes, three times.” Dean chuckles a little. “I’m sorry for well, everything having to do with the spell.”

“Like…”

“You really gonna make me analyze my issues here?” You nod and grin. “Fine. I’m sorry that I sang to you in front of a crowd. I’m sorry that I tried to strip down in front of you. I’m sorry that I kept trying to kiss you. I’m sorry that I kept trying to lick your face.”

“What?!” You look at Dean surprised.

“Oh! Right. You didn’t know that or, um, need to know about that.” He clears his throat. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry about how I made you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry that I hid the cure from you. I’m sorry that I brought up the issues with your parents and I’m sorry that trying to kill you was the most recent memory you have of me. You gotta know that that wasn’t me. I would never say those things. I would never nor would I ever try to kill you. You’re my best friend. And I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You take a look at Dean and the sincerity shown on his face. This was Dean. The real Dean.

“Dean,” you say as he looks in your eyes and you do the same. “I forgive you. In fact, I forgive you more than I forgive myself for toying with you.”

“Hey,” Dean says as he stops your trail of self hatred. “You didn’t do anything wrong. There is nothing to forgive you for. And,” Dean sighs, “there’s one more thing I have to apologize for.”

“And that is?”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Dean takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry that it took some witch, some curse, and a whole lot of vodka for me to finally tell you that I’m in love with you.”

“You what?” You ask, wide eyed and confused.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I’m so sorry that it took so long for me to admit it.”

You look at Dean who looks at you.

“Right.” You nod your head slowly. “Right.” You get up and walk over to the table. “Right, you’re right!”

“What are you doing?” Dean asks.

“I’m uh, I’m calling Sam,” you say with an unconvincing smile.

“Why?” Dean asks as he stands up.

“Cause the antidote apparently didn’t work.” You nervously type in the numbers on your phone.

“What?!” Dean asks as he snatches the phone from your hand. “No!”

“Dean,” you say calmly, “Give me the phone and we can get this all sorted out.”

“Y/N, I’m not under the spell, alright?” Dean says as he walks away with your phone. You follow him.

“Sure, Dean. That’s right. Whatever you say. But how about you just give me the phone?” You go over towards the bed and try to swipe the cell back from his hand.

“No!” He responds as he moves it from one hand to another.

“What do you mean no?!”

“I mean no.” Dean sits on the bed and you hop up on it trying to reach over his shoulders.

“Give it!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Hm, let me think about it. Oh! How about: No!” Dean stands up and you stand up on the bed, hovering over him. “You’re gonna hurt yourself, sweetheart,” he says with a chuckle.

“Shut up and give me the damn phone!” You lunge for the cellular device. You slowly lose your balance just as you come so close to reaching it. You lean more towards the edge of the bed and fall towards the ground.

_Thump_

“I told you,” Dean says. In one swoop, he caught you before you fell and tossed your back onto the bed and pinned your arms down with his hands. He comes only inches away from your face as you stare into his bright green eyes. “I’m not under some love spell. But I am in love with you.” He continues to stare in your eyes and gives you a smile. “Now can we behave like adults or do I need to bring out my handcuffs?”

“Oh, shut up!” You respond as you wrap your legs around his waist, turning him around, on his back. You now have him pinned down on the bed and you look into his eyes. “You’re insane. You know that Winchester?”

“Maybe,” he smiles. “But It’s only cause you make me.” You roll your eyes. “I could get out of this if I wanted to. I’m stronger than you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m faster,” you respond. Dean pulls you on the bed with him and leans in close to you. “Why don’t you believe I love you, Y/N?”

You take a deep breath, “Because you can’t.”

“And why not?”

“Because… because… because…”

“…Because you love me?” Dean continues. You blush a little and Dean notices. 

“Since when do you love me?”

“Since three years ago.” He smiles. “I remember the exact night I fell in love with you and it wasn’t because of some spell either.” You and Dean take a seat on the edge of the bed as he tells you a story. “It was three years ago. In Chesterfield, Missouri. We had just come back from killing some Thule members that decided to overrun an elementary school. After we burned the bodies, we went to get drinks like usual to celebrate but for some reason, you seemed to get carried away.”

——————

Three years ago. Chesterfield, Missouri. Webb’s Bar.

I had just walked in after Y/N. She was in that little black dress that I loved so much. Only girl I know who could rock a suit just as much as she could a ballgown.

She made her way over to the bar. Sitting down, waiting for some random Romeo to sweep her off her feet. 

Who am I to judge? I’m the one looking for Juliet.

It wasn’t long before Y/N was downing one drink after another. God knows why she’d want to get wasted. Sure, the hunt was a different go around but it wasn’t anything bad. She just seemed to be in some sort of mood.

“Another round!” Y/N shouted causing the whole bar to cheer on the drunk girl of the week. “Woo! Yeah!” Y/N sat at the counter with three douchebags surrounding her.

“Hey, baby,” I heard the one guy whisper to you, “you want to get out of here?”

“Nope! I want to play some pool!” Y/N said as she stumbled from the seat to the pool cue rack.

“What’s she gonna get herself into now?” I whisper under my breath as I watch you miss every shot you take. The three dudes are practically vultures surrounding you now. I could see right through them. The second they get to, you know they are gonna try something.

–

After about five more shots and three more games, those idiots see their chance. I had already ditched my entertainment for the evening as soon as I saw Y/N. To be fair, you were pretty entertaining too. 

I could see where their eyes went. Where their hands wanted to go.

“Let’s get out of here!” Said the one.

“No! More booze!” Y/N replied. “More booze, more booze, more booze, more–” You stopped your chant when the leader of the pack put his hand on the bottom of your back. I could tell that you didn’t like that. They sure did.

“Come on, baby,” another one said as he grabbed you by your arm and started to pull you outside.

You walked out the door with the three numbskulls chasing after you. 

“Alright,” I said as I got up and followed you.

They took you out behind the bar and were all over you. I would’ve come sooner but you had managed to knock them all out before I had the chance to watch the game of whack a mole.

“You good?” I asked, still in shock by how even though you were drunk, you still managed to get three guys, who are double your size, unconscious.

“Yep!” You reply, almost combining all the letters together. You start to fall over when you try to salute me.

“Woah, woah, woah,” I rush over to you before you fall, “I got you.” I smiled at you. Still gorgeous. From the minute I saw you, I knew that you must be the most gorgeous woman in the world. You collapsed downwards, not far from face planting in the ground.

“Imma… Imma… I think I’m gonna throw up,” you tell me as you lean over and start to hurl. I can’t help but laugh.

“You’re alright,” I say as I stand you back up. You walk over and place your back against the wall. You stare into my eyes and I stare into yours.

It was a beautiful night. You could see the stars thanks to the busted light beside the dumpster. It was beautiful. You were beautiful. You are beautiful.

You started hiccupping. “Dea–hiccup–I’ve got to tell you–hiccup–I’ve got to tell–hiccup–Dean–hiccup–I love–hiccup–” You never finished your unfinishable statement. 

_Ah_!

We both heard a scream turning our attention away from one another. You bolted towards the sound, even faster than I could run.

It was a young girl. Must’ve been about sixteen. A guy had her pinned up against the wall with a knife to her throat.

The girl continued to scream as he made little incisions into her skin.

Before I could even react, you went over to the man, tapped his shoulder, and in an instant, you knocked him flat on his ass. 

“Are you okay, honey?” You asked the girl. She nodded with tears in her eyes. “It’s okay,” you said as she wrapped her arms around your neck. You gently rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. “It’s okay.”

“You alright?” I asked again, as you appeared to be fully alert while being completely intoxicated.

“Yeah, Dean. I’m fine,” you smile. You take the girl out of your arms and wipe her tears. “We’re gonna get you home, okay?” The girl nods as you guide her over to Baby.

–

I took care of the guy by handcuffing him to a fence, leaving a present for the cops. You took care of the girl by just making sure she was okay. You had been in the backseat with her until we arrived at her parents house. You didn’t even blink till you knew she was safe and sound.

You came and took a seat in the passenger side before we left her house.

“What?” You asked me.

“What?” I replied with a smile on my face.

“You’re looking at me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re looking at me. Why are you looking at me?”

“I can’t help it.” I can’t. You took out four guys tonight all while being completely drunk. That’s a feat even I couldn’t conquer.

“Well fine then!” You shout. “If you wanna look at me so much then you can just look at me as I lay right down here in your lap,” you say with a big grin.

“Okay?” I question.

“Alright,” you say as you lay down in the seat while placing your head in my lap. “Cool. Goodnight, baby.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. You were drunk. You were really drunk.

You closed your eyes, almost falling asleep instantly. I look at you. I look at your head placed in my lap.

“Goodnight, baby. Sweet dreams.”

–

It was only about a half hour later that I ended up carrying you bridal style back to the motel. 

Your eyes kept fluttering, drifting in and out of sleep. You kept mumbling too. I just nodded along with whatever words came out of your mouth.

I placed you gently down on your bed. I pulled up the sheets and blankets on top of you. You started to reach for my hand. You grabbed me and pulled me closer to you. Before I knew it, your lips were locked with mine. You tasted like four kinds of rum and some cheap gin but the feeling… it felt so good. It was perfect.

You just about passed out before you could make out with me even more. I just gently put your head back down on the pillow causing you to fall right back asleep.

——————-

“What?” You ask in shock of if the events he’d just revealed were true or not.

“Yeah,” he replies with a smile. “That happened too. And that’s the night I truly fell in love with you. It wasn’t even the kiss that got me. It was the fact that you completely went out of your way to make sure that that girl was safe. I don’t even think you could’ve remembered your own name at the time. Yet, you had your instinct still intact. Your instinct to save and protect people. It’s my favorite thing about you. ”

“But–How…”

“…Can you not remember? Or why didn’t I tell you?” Dean finishes. You nod. “I didn’t tell you cause,” he takes a deep breath, “I didn’t want to risk losing the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Okay. Okay.” You try to reassure yourself. “Okay then, if you love me, then why the hell do you pick on me all the time?”

“Oh come on! That is literally the most obvious thing that I could’ve done,” he says. You shake your head confused. “Don’t you know that in school, the guy always picks on the girl cause he likes her?”

“So you are comparing yourself to some immature child now?”

“What! No, that’s not!–Okay, look, you and I both know that I’m not Mr. Share all when it comes to emotions.”

“And whose fault is that? Huh?” You roll your eyes.

“Wait a second now, you’re the one who always runs to Sam whenever you want to talk about something. Never once have you run to me so why would I feel as if I could talk to you?” Dean answers defensively.

“So now it’s my fault? You do realize that it’s a two way street?!” You throw up your hands and lean back your head. “Wow. You just told me you were in love with me and we somehow manage to turn it into a fight,” you say with a huff.

Dean laughs. “You’re not wrong, sweetheart.”

“Really?!” You say agitated.

“What?”

“That! That right there. Calling me ‘sweetheart’ like you do every other girl. Now that pisses me off.” 

“Y/N,” Dean says as he looks in your eyes. “If you think that I call every girl sweetheart, then you must be deaf. Because, see, I call them sweetheart but you are the only one who I’ve ever called _sweetheart_.”

The change in Dean’s voice actually surprises you. You‘ve never thought about how he’s said it differently before. “ _Sweetheart_.” It had a nice ring to it.

You and Dean take a minute to process everything. 

“So you are really in love with me?” You ask. No harm in being extra sure.

“Yep,” Dean replies. “I’m totally head over heels,” he moves closer to you, “butterflies in stomachs,” he leans in, “crazy in love.” He places his lips on yours.

This was perfect. It was finally perfect.

Dean moved his lips away from yours for just a second to catch a breath. “And just so you know, sweetheart, the spell worked on me because I was already in love with you. The witch was trying to force love, but when it came to me, let’s just say it’s taken everything in me to not come in here and kiss you sooner.” Dean turns his gaze from your lips to your eyes.

“You couldn’t have just started with that information, couldn’t you?” You question with a smile.

“Nah, too easy.”

“Oh, shut up, Winchester,” you command as you press your lips on him once more.

You wrap your arms around each other, continuing to kiss every square inch accessible on the skin.

“Alright,” Dean says as he stands up. “Come on.” He reaches out for your hand and to take it hesitantly.

“What?” You ask.

“As much as I want to spend every second having my lips on you, I came here for a reason.”

“And that is…”

Dean smiles down at you and brushes his hand on the back of your neck as he pulls you close. “I’m taking you home, baby.”

———————

You took a ride in Baby back to the bunker. Your heart was racing. You had laid your head in Dean’s lap again. He continued to comb through your hair. He couldn’t help but smile. You couldn’t even think about frowning.

Walking through the bunker doors was something that you had fantasized about from the moment you left in the first place. 

Sam was the first one to come running through the war room, racing to you as he wrapped his gigantic arms around you. He had watery eyes that you couldn’t help but mirror when you thought of how much you missed him. 

Next was Cas. He wasn’t as quick to get to you, but his grip was so tight. He wrapped his arms around you. He almost crushed you but you didn’t even care. He kept hanging onto you with even Sam joining in the hug. Dean eventually wrapped his arms around the group too. They all hugged you so tight. It felt so perfect.

You were home. You were finally home. You were with your family. You were finally at peace. You were finally, truly, 100%, completely, happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought of the series! Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> All rights go to the T.V. show "Supernatural." Also, this is my first time posting on Ao3 as opposed to Tumblr. Let's see how this goes. Love to hear feedback if ya got any. Thanks. ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)


End file.
